


Not Just the Girl in the Bar

by prettylittlegilmoregirls



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Boss/Employee Relationship, F/M, Funny, Jealous Derek, Sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 08:31:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 34,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15602430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettylittlegilmoregirls/pseuds/prettylittlegilmoregirls
Summary: This story has already been published on Fanfiction.net





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story has already been published on Fanfiction.net

**Chapter 1**

 

"Quiet everyone! Quiet please!" Chief...or, rather former Chief Webber stood atop the lecture hall stage, addressing the Seattle Grace crowd.

The nervous and excited energy in the room quieted, and Webber cleared his throat.

"As you know, I have been here at Seattle Grace Hospital for a long, long time. I have seen it's ups and downs, it's highs and lows. All of it. I have been an intern, a resident, an attending, and eventually become Chief of Surgery. I have watched some of the most incredible surgeons ever to hold a scalpel, achieve greatness. I have seen lives saved every day…" The speech was interrupted for a moment with brief applause. "So, today, the hospital is beginning a new chapter, with a new Chief. So, ladies and gentlemen, surgeons, I would like to introduce you to Doctor Meredith Grey, Seattle Grace's next chief of surgery."

Webber's head turned to acknowledge the person who walked out on to the stage next. But instead of the fat old man I was expecting, a tall, mid-twenties blonde strode up to Webber, high heels clicking against the stage and stopping at once.

I turned to Sloan who stood next to me, my jaw practically on the floor. "That's who he chose to take his place?! A...a...Ms. America!?"

"Oh, wow." Sloan's mouth curled into a smile.

"Dude! No!"

"I...I...she's hot!" Suddenly, the woman spun around, and stared directly into my eyes.

"Sloan!"

"She is, man!"

I stared astonished at the sight in front of me, absolutely dumbfounded...

-Two weeks earlier-

"Oh my God, Derek!"

The blonde silhouette on top of me melted against me, just as she screamed out in pleasure. I kissed her neck, her shoulders, her stomach. Then lower...lower…

-Present Day-

I shook my head, and held my hand in front of my eyes to check my vision.

"What the hell?!"

I stared up at the tall blonde in a lab coat in front of me, who's eyes landed directly on mine with an equally shocked expression.

"I..um… good afternoon, doctors. I am Meredith Grey, your new Chief. I am ready to begin leading this hospital today. I expect the department heads to report to my office on the hour to deliver your reports, so let's get to work!

There was no applause, instead, a nervous chatter as my colleagues filed out of the lecture hall.

My eyes shot back to Meredith, who was making a beeline for the exit. I followed her quickly, as she turned into the main elevator.

"Hold the elevator!" I shouted.

I slipped through the doors just in time, looking questioningly at the woman a mere 3 feet from me.

"Oh. Doctor...Shepherd, is it?"

"Really?! Doctor Shepherd?!"

"Yes." She hissed. glaring at me angrily. "Doctor Shepherd. I am your boss. We aren't friends."

I smirked. "We could be more than friends if you like…"

"Doctor Shepherd! You're being highly inappropriate!"

"Well it's not like you haven't seen me naked before...you can't get much more inappropriate than-"

"Shut up!" She growled. "Shut up and follow me."

"Happily."

I trailed behind her, smirking.

"Okay, Yang, Karev...you're with Bailey. Avery, Grey, you're needed in orthol. Shepherd...come with me."

I wheeled around the corner, after Mer- Chief Grey, as she barreled into her office and slammed the door.

"Wipe that stupid smirk off your face!"

I raised my eyebrows, but stopped smiling.

"What the hell are you…I am your boss. I am the Chief. So if you value your job, then stop acting like as smartass, and be professional."

"Oh, believe me, I'm a professional-"

"Do you really think right now is the time for sex jokes, Dr. Shephard?"

"I uh…" all traces of joking fell from my face.

"Get the HELL out of my office! GO!"

I fled from the office, feeling Meredith Grey's eyes burning into the back of my head.

I could not believe this! The one meaningless fling I had on my first night here in Seattle turned out to be one of my attendings!

As livid as I am right now, I can't help but let my mind wander back to that night. I was tipsy, well, no, closer to drunk, but I still remembered. Oh yes, I remembered…the way he-

Wait...what the hell am I doing?! Am I...fantasizing about one of my subordinates? I shook the thought from my head, and massaged my temples.

I shook my head and stormed out of my office.

I will not waste my energy on that man.

"Dr. Shepard…" I handed him a stack of yellow folders. "Scut."

"What? You're….Scut!?"

"Yes. You should hurry...Mr. Molsen and his hemorrhoids don't have all day…"

Derek practically choked on his coffee, narrowing his eyes slowly.

"I'll take care of that for you…" I snached his to-go cup from his fist, and dropped it into the trash bin, after taking one sip, walking away satisfied.

"Terri, send Doctor Shepherd to my office stat." I slammed the phone into the receiver.

The nerve of that man…

The door swung open revealing an arrogant Derek on the other side.

"So let me get this straight...first you openly harass me in a professional setting, disobey me, disobey your boss, then completely disregard my order to turn in your department report, and finally I find you smirking on the other side of my door?!"

"Yes."

"You have completely crossed the line I...did you say yes?"

"Yes."

I watched Derek inch closer and closer to my desk chair, and further away from where he first sat. He was practically sitting on my lap, and the craziest part was that...I didn't stop him.

"You said Derek."

"What?" I asked in a whisper. His breath was fanning my face at this point.

"You called me Derek. After all of your crap about being professional, you called me Derek."

"No I didn't! Doctor Shepherd...what are you doing?"

"I believe the question would be...what are you doing Doctor Grey?"

I was just now realizing that my body was pressed against his, and my lips were dangerously close to his face.

But I was too far gone. Too far gone to stop now.

My lips collided with his, smashed together, and for an instant I didn't care. I didn't care that I was his boss. Passion took over, desire burned.

The bubble popped though, and we were back to reality, and I pulled myself into a standing position.

"I have to go." I stormed out of my office slamming the door yet again today.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 

"I asked you to bring me the black blazer. Black! Not navy! This is bad! I have a board meeting in an hour and you're expecting me to wear the navy blazer?"

"I...I...I'm so sorry Ma'am...I mean Ms. Grey..I mean.."

" _It_ _'_ _s Chief_ Grey _._  You need to leave now."

I waved the assistant out of my office, feeling a headache pounding inside me.

"Good Morning  _Chief_  Grey…" Derek strode shamelessly into my office. "Can we talk?"

"Dr. Shepherd, I have a board meeting, and then an emergency angeogramic bypass…I really don't have time for foolishness…"

"If that was what I wanted, then we'd be in an on call room…" He muttered.

"What was that, Doctor Shepherd?" I growled, as my eyebrows shot up.

"Nothing. That was nothing."

"Well? What did you want? I don't have all day!"

I slipped my lab coat off of my shoulders, and hung it over the back of my chair.

"Oh..oh I was wondering if I could scrub in on that...that…" His voice trailed off, and I followed his eyes which were definitely  _not_  looking at my eyes.

I cleared my throat and cocked my head. "Doctor Shepherd?"

"Uhh...erm…."

I smirked, walking up to Derek so that my face was only inches from his.

"You were saying?"

I was wondering if I could scrub in on your coronary bypass this afternoon?"

"Yang is scrubbing in with me. She's the one headed for Cardio. You're a  _neurologist_ , Dr. Shepherd."

"Oh."

" _Oh_? Have you suddenly gone braindead?"

"I...Doctor- Chief Grey, we...can we talk?"

I sighed, walking past Derek to close the door.

"I literally have 60 seconds. What is it that just can't wait?"

"You kissed me. What was that?"

"I...Oh for God's sake, more personal drama with you? I can't do it!"

Like 2 weeks ago...we had sex, and now you're pretending that we've just met?"

"Just because we had good...really great sex, that doesn't make me your girlfriend, or whatever the  _hell_  you think I am." I shouted.

"Don't kid yourself. The sex wasn't great. It was  _amazing_."

I took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. I knew I was about to make a colossal mistake. An  _amazing_  colossal mistake.

"Lock the door."

"What?"

"Derek, I said lock the door."

His eyebrows knitted together, but he turned the metal lock, and spun back around to face me.

I walked forward ambitiously, grabbing Derek by the shoulders, and walking him back until he bumped roughly into the front of my desk.

"Take off your pants."

This time, he didn't hesitate.

"Yes Ma'am." He uttered with a grin.

I walked forward, until my body collided with his. His lips traveled from my lips, to my neck, down towards my exposed chest.

His hands caressed my sides, pulling me into him. He sat on the edge of my desk and I moved to straddle him, causing him to moan in pleasure. "Meredith…"

I jerked my head back, and glared at him, clearing my throat. "Did I tell you that you could call me by my first name?"

His brow furrowed angrilly.

I said nothing, but instead slid off of his legs and began straightening my dress.

"Fine... _Chief._ _"_ He growled.

I grinned maliciously, leaning back into him. I was about to rip off his shirt, when Terri's voice blasted over the intercom.

"Uhm...Chief?"

I leapt off of Derek, glaring at him as if to say 'not a word.'

"Yes,"

"Uh...There's a man here who's wanting to see you...He says his name is…" there was a brief pause and some distant chatter as Sherri got the man's name. "...Ryan Anderson."

"Send him in."

I straightened my dress, seeing obvious disappointment on Derek's face.

"Put on your pants."

He trudged over to the small scattered pile of clothes, straightening up just in time with a knock on my door. Checking everything quickly, I invited the man in.

—-Derek's POV—-

_I can_ _'_ _t believe this! The woman just practically ordered me to have sex with her, and now she_ _'_ _s inviting some guy into her office, and making sure she looks perfect to do so?!_

"Hi! I'm Meredith Grey!" She began, using a kind voice, unbeknownst to those who work for her.

" _I know._ _" 'Ryan'_  replied.

_What a douche. Ha. Doctor Douche._

"I haven't gotten a chance to thank you in person for your donation!" Meredith cooed. "You generosity has definitely not gone unnoticed."

The man had not even acknowledged that I was standing in the room.

"Of course! I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to receive the money. There isn't anyone more capable than you, as far as I'm concerned!"

_Getting douchier by the second. And...Meredith was...blushing. Blushing!_

"I would like to thank  _you_ for inviting me to tag along to those meetings next week. I really would appreciate seeing what becomes of my donation."

"Of course. We still need to discuss your plan."

"Okay…" Doctor Douche pulled out his phone.

_Maredith is just_ _….Ugh!_

"How's lunch next week?" Douche asked.

"Great!"

_Wait_ _…_ _lunch next week?! I_ _'_ _ve had quite enough of this shit!_

I cleared my throat purposefully.

"Oh, hello, Doctor…"

" _Shepherd_." I growled through my clenched jaws.

"Oh...I hope I wasn't interrupting a meeting…"

"Actually…" I began, smirking.

"Oh, that's quite alright! It was nothing important!" Meredith replied quickly.

I shot Meredith quite the glare, which was only returned with feigned politeness.

"Well, it was nice seeing you! I guess..until next week…"

_Yeah. Sure dude._

" _Of course. Mr. Anderson._ _"_

Doctor Douche stumbled out of her office with a goofy grin.

_That bastard!_

"Um...Doctor Shepherd, you have to get back to work now, and I have a meeting."

She was slipping on her lab coat, and nearly out the door in seconds.

"Shouldn't we uhh...finish what we started?" I sent her a glare filled with deeper meaning.

"Doctor Shepherd, people are dying. There isn't time for this foolishness. You need to go, and so do I."

"Alright then. Later?"

"Shepherd! Out!"

I grinned, but strolled out of the office. Oh, she'd see me later. A whole lot of me.

—  **Meridith** **'s POV** **—**

The board meeting went well, then a successful craniotomy, and I was finally heading back to my office for a break before my next round of surgeries.

I swung the door open, crashing onto the couch with a moan, just as my desk chair spun around, and someone cleared their throat.

"Good evening, Doctor Grey."

I shot off the couch, startled.

"Doctor Shepherd! What are you doing in my office in the middle of the night shift?!"

"I missed you."

"Get out of my chair, Derek!"

He grinned, and uttered quietly,

"Make me."

"Oh, I swear, you'd better wipe that stupid grin off your face and…"

I was in my chair, on top of him, in a rather... _intimate_ position.

"And what?" He lowered his face close to my ear, and whispered, "Tell me."

My eyes darted back and forth across his face devouring that , sexy,  _sexy_  face.  _Wait! What the hell am I doing?_

But then he sucked me in again, his hands sneaking around my back to cup my ass, pulling me on top of him for the second time today. Only this time, something... _pressing_ was stirring against my stomach.

I squeezed my eyes shut, and held my breath.  _I'_ _ll have sex with him once, one time and that_ _'_ _ll be it. Only once._

I opened my eyes again, staring into his, grey and lust-filled.

"One time. That's it, and I swear, if this  _ever...and I mean_ _ever_  gets out, your ass will be fired so fast it'll make your head-"

He smashed his lips against mine in reply, reaching back to unzip my dress and throw it to the floor in one quick movement.

He grinned naughtily, leaning forward to kiss and suck on my neck.

"Who," he said between kisses. "Was that  _jackass_  that...interrupted us today?"

"A donor." I said cooly. "I have to be friendly with the donors."

"You sure have an interesting way of being friendly."

I grinned, pushing myself off of him, and perching my butt on the edge of my desk. The heels of my Stillettos pushed into his shoulders, holding him back.

"You were  _jealous_!" I guffawed incredulously.

"I was not jealous! I just…"

"You just don't like other men flirting with your sexy boss, that's it."

"That's not…"

I smirked, satisfied with his annoyed pout.

"You can't handle the thought of other guys kissing me...touching me... _pleasuring me._ _"_

Derek growled, reaching out for me, but I pulled back.

"Uh Uh Uh! Not so fast. Admit it!"

"Fine! I was jealous! Just...come here!"

I was satisfied, but not done teasing.

I arched my back slowly, and hooked my fingers around the sides of the black lace panties barely covering anything. I began to drag them down to my ankles, watching Derek grin and reach for me again.

I dodged his arms, and reached forward, unzipping his slacks and pushing them to the floor.

Then, I reached forward, grabbing him in my fist and squeezing, enjoying the pained, yet pleasured look on his face.

He moaned loudly, and I leaned into his lap, silencing the groans with my lips.

I moaned this time, beginning to grind slowly over his piercing erection.

He kicked off his boxers, reaching behind my back to find the clasp of my bra.

His eyes nearly exploded at the sight in front of him, my boobs, unshielded right in front of his eyes.

He moaned, and continued kissing my neck.

"I need you. Now."

I adjusted my position, and slid on top of him, accommodating to his size.

I leaned back, then forward, riding him hard, causing us both to come near the edge.

"Oh...my god..." I gasped, rocking faster, harder.

His arms wrapped around my waist again, pulling my body into his, as we both moaned out in release.

I squeezed my eyes shut again, riding out the waves of pleasure in between breathless gasps.

Once my heartbeat returned to normal, I slid off of Derek, off of my chair, and began to gather my scattered clothes.

"That was…" Derek began. "Wow."

"Nothing tops jealous sex, Doctor Shepherd."

A pout spread once again over his face, but I could tell he knew his jealousy was  _definitely_ a turn on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 

Her body had plagued my brain. We had sex twice, and I wanted more. Oh  _god_  how I wanted more. The very woman on my mind strode into my office, slapping her hands to the rim of my desk, leaning over offering a  _great_ view. I'm not quite sure if that was on purpose or not.

"Neuro consult. Come with me."

She didn't wait for a reply, but I jumped up, following her immediately.

"Someone announce, and stop acting like mutes!" I could hear her furious voice ringing through the hallway.

"Michael Stein. 45 year old male with a chronic cranial bleed." I remarked, smirking as she entered the room.

"You idiots could learn something from Dr. Shepherd. I have no issues firing your asses."

The rest of the attendings turned to look at me, dumbfounded and angry.

"Looks like someone plays favorites…" Alex Karev muttered, a bit too loud.

"What was that, Dr. Karev?" Meredith shoot him a death glare, and I had to really work at not laughing.

"Nothing Ma'am."

"Oh really? I  _know_ that you weren't insinuating that  _I_  was playing favorites and being unprofessional, because the things you do with the interns can  _hardly_  be deemed professional either," She marched right up to his face, and dropped a stack of folders into his arms. "File these."

"But…"

"Nope. Shut up and get to work, now."

Kerev's face went blank and I snorted quietly.

"Ok. You all can leave now." Meredith waves off the rest of the attendings. She waited until they filed out before walking within earshot of the patient. "Mr. Stein."

"Maredith! How are you?"

"Not happy. We have to stop meeting like this."

"What do you mean?" I glanced at Maredith questioningly.

"Michael has been hospitalized  _6 times_  this year with an elevated concussion, all of which could've been prevented if he just wore a helmet with his bike."

"It's all worth it when I get the hot doctor!"

Meredith frowned. "Mr. Stein!"

"What? You aren't married, are you? Is there some law against flirting with patients?"

_What is it with men and their flirting with Meredith? I understand why, but God!_ _"_

"No, but it is highly inappropriate."

"You've never been in an inappropriate relationship before?"

I smirked.

"Oh,  _she has_." I remarked, receiving a questioning glance from the patient, and a furious one from Maredith.

"Doctor Shepherd, go see if...Doctor Bailey needs any help in the pit today."

"Oh I spoke with her earlier. It's a slow day." I decided to push her a bit farther.

"Doctor Shepherd…" She began, but her pager saved me from her wrath just in time.

I turned so that only Maredith could see my face, and winked exaggeratedly, earning another nasty look.

"Guess we'll have to talk  _later_." I teased.

She ignored this, and instead began shouting at a group of unsuspecting interns on her way out.

As soon as she was out of earshot, the flirtatious dumbass patient turned to me and whispered,

"She's hot."

"Mr. Stein, that's highly inappropriate!" I frowned and gritted my teeth.

"Oh. Uhm okay…"

"You should consider your audience, As her boyfriend, I don't find that too funny."

"Oh...I...I…" his face turned red, and strolled out of the room, grinning triumphantly.

-Meredith's POV-

"Ok, Michael. Are you ready to get prepped for surgery?" I asked. "A nurse should be in any minute to start an IV…"

"I am. Look, I'm sorry for flirting with you like that. I didn't realize that Dr.. Shepherd is your boyfriend."

"Oh that's... _WHAT?"_

"Dr. Shepherd...he said…"

I turned swiftly and walked...no  _ran_ out of the room, dropping a stack of files to the floor.

—-Derek's POV—-

"And you should be discharged by tomorrow morning," I explained to Molly Anderson, one of my post-op patients.

"DOCTOR SHEPHERD!" I heard Meredith's voice blare from the end of the hallway.

"Uhh...I should go see...what that's about...excuse me."

I slipped out of the room, just in time to see Maredith barreling towards me, looking angrier than ever before. She grabbed me harshly by my wrist, pulling me off towards her office, slamming the door as we entered. We'd gotten more than a few curious looks from Mark and Karev on the way as well.

"Would you like to tell me why the  _HELL_  my patient referred to you as my  _boyfriend_ today, Dr. Shepherd? Tell me, what would've given him that kind of impression?"

"I…"

"Do you remember me telling you that if this ever got out that I'd  _fire_ your sorry ass?"

I smirked, knowing that I wouldn't get anywhere being serious. "What can I say, Chief, I don't like other men flirting with my sexy,  _sexy_ , boss…"

"You are impossible, Derek Shepherd!" She screamed, but slipped out of her lab coat letting it drop to the floor.

"And you love it."

"Oh, really? Well what are you going to do tomorrow when I have lunch with Andrew? She kicked her heels off of her feet and grinned maliciously.

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, watch me!"

"I'll do more than watch, Dr. Grey. I'm not just going to sit back and watch while another man flirts with you! I'm going to make sure he understands that you're  _taken_ _…_ "

"I'm not taken."

"Yes, you are. You are  _mine_."

"I am most certainly not  _yours_!"

"Oh, really, then what are you doing?" She walked toward me, pressing herself to me tightly.

"Stop talking, Dr. Shepherd."

Her lips pressed to mine, and she reached between us to pull down my pants slowly.

I could feel myself getting hard, almost instantly, enjoying the sight of her in front of me.

"Are you jealous, Dr. Shepherd?" She asked, her voice laced with seduction.

"No, because you are  _mine_. You know it, and I know it, and soon, everyone will know it."

She stopped kissing me and smiled evilly, backing up.

"Wh..what are you doing?"

She didn't answer, instead she stepped back into her heels, and collected her lab coat from the floor.

"I'm not yours, You are mine." She smiled and strode out of her office, leaving me half naked with a very  _pressing_  problem.

_That woman will be the death of me._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I was in my office when I heard her heels clicking down the hallway, stopping curtly in my doorway.

"Doctor Shepherd, you have a report for me, where is it?"

"Good morning to you too." I smiled, as she strode over to my desk and grabbed my coffee mug gulping down a few sips with a moan.

_How does this woman make drinking coffee hot?_

I lowered my voice grinning seductively. "You look sexy today."

"Now, is that appropriate, Dr. Shepherd?" she tilted her head to the side, failing to hide her smirk.

"No it's not. I guess...I deserve to be  _punished_."

"Hmm...well I'm too busy today, I have lunch with Ryan."

All flirtation dropped from my face, which curled into a disgusted frown.

"I'll be watching doctor Douche like a hawk today…"

"Doctor what?"

"Douche. He's a Douche about to be put in his place."

"Derek, he's a doctor  _donor_ Douche. Be nice."

"So you  _agree_ that he's a Douche! And why do you get to call me Derek?"

"No..wait, What?"

"You called me Derek again. Not that I mind."

"I can call you Derek because I am your  _boss_.  _You_  have to call me  _Doctor Grey._ _"_

"Mmm...No thanks."

"No thanks?! What the  _hell_  do you mean  _no thanks?!_ _"_

"I don't want to,  _Meredith_."

She narrowed her eyes at me angrily.

"If I have to watch doctor Douche flirting with you, then I should at least get to call you Maredith."

"No,  _absolutely not_."

"Fine. I guess I'll just have to publicly explain to doctor Douche that you're  _mine_ , and he needs to back his ass the hell up!"

"No you most certainly won't! We are sex. Really good sex, but that's it. No strings, no relationship. Which means no one can know. Not Ryan, and certainly not any of my subordinates."

"Subordinates?! Who are you, _queen Elizabeth_?"

"Your boss."

"Oh God yes. I know."

"Then you'd better be respectful today, or... _no more sex for you._ _"_

I gasped, and feigned shock.

"You would  _never!_ "

"Oh honey, I would."

"Fine. No strings...keep it quiet. I can do that."

"Good boy!" I tapped him on the nose patronizingly, and stepped away from his desk.

"See you at lunch,  _Derek_!"

I groaned and let my face fall into my hands.

_This is going to be the longest day of my life._

**-Meredith's POV-**

"This hospital has quite the cafeteria!" Ryan smiled, following me across the courtyard to my usual table.

"It's not all that bad."

"It's so much better, since I'm having lunch with you."

"Uhm thanks," I was a little preoccupied, watching Derek who was watching us from  _all_  the way across the courtyard.

His eyes narrowed, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Meredith?" Ryan cocked his head at me questioningly.

"Oh..um..I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Yes, I was saying maybe my donation could go to pediatrics?"

"Of course. That would be great! I can't think you enough for this, Ryan!."

"Oh, no thanks necessary. I would someone as beautiful as you all of my money if you asked for it."

"What?"

"You. You're beautiful, and I think you're amazing."

"Thank you, that's...thank you."

Ryan smiled, reaching forward to brush a peice of hair from my face.

I grinned, feeling Derek's eyes burning into me from behind.

Almost as if on cue, I heard  _someone_ behind me clear their throat.

"Doctor Shepherd, can't you see I'm having lunch?"

"I can see that,  _Maredith._ I need to speak to you. I  _need_ you."

My eyes widened 10 times their normal size, and I gritted my teeth, beyond appalled at Derek's meaning-filled voice. "There's a pregnant patient with a severe cranial bleed, and she's uh...headed straight for the O.R."

"Oh..oh God I...I have to go."

I leaped up from my chair throwing my napkin on the table.

"Uhm...Meredith, you're just going leave?"

"Ryan, I have to go!"

He stood up from his chair, wrapped his arm tightly around my waist, and planted a kiss, a rough kiss straight on my mouth. Derek's jaw all but dropped to the floor, his face turning red with anger. I quickly pulled myself away from the kiss, glaring at Ryan. "Excuse me! Leave, now!"

I stormed back into the hospital, shaking my head. But, that was not before I heard Derek mutter something to Ryan. Something that sounded a lot like, "Keep your hands off of Meredith you asshole."

As furious as the whole situation made me, I couldn't help but let out a tiny smirk.

He quickly caught up to me smiling. "I told you I wouldn't just sit back and watch,  _Meredith._

"Derek, do not call me that around my employees!"

He grabbed my arm, and we spun into the on-call room.

"Sex?"

"You just said I have an urgent patient with a cranial bleed, I don't have time for sex right now!"

"Oh, that? That was a lie. I just got tired of Ryan flirting with my  _sexy_  boss, remember?"

"That was a  _naughty_  thing to do, Dr, Shepherd."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Doctor Grey. I guess... _now_  I deserve to be punished."

"Maybe you do, but first, I need to speak with Ryan."

"Then I'm coming with you."

I sighed, and stormed off, knowing Derek would follow.

"Ryan, that was highly inappropriate, and I don't think we will need to be meeting anymore. It looks like I'll be  _tied up_  for the rest of the day."

I watched him squirm under Derek's harsh glare, and honestly, It was really turning me on.

"Meredith…" His eyes shifted uncomfortably to Derek, who had a triumphant smirk on his face. "Can we talk later?"

"Doctor Grey and I will be working for a while...maybe even _all night_ …" His suggestive smile vanished as I jammed my elbow into his back.

Ryan frowned and marched away angrily, leaving Derek and I to go back into the hospital.

"I told you! No funny business Derek!" I covered my face with my hands, trying to hide my smile again. "And...that wasn't even funny!"

"You seem to think it was…"

"Shut up. Meet me in my office in 10 minutes."

"Yes Ma'am!"

I strolled down the hallway, and couldn't stop myself from shaking my head when I realized his eyes were staring right at my ass.

"Get back to work, Dr. Shepherd!" I shouted, disappearing around the corner.

"Thank you, Dr. Brown…" I smiled, as Derek marched into my office and closed the door. "Yes...yes, well I'll be sure to let him know…Goodbye."

I slipped the phone out of the cradle, and strolled around to the front of my desk.

"Who was that?" Derek asked, tossing his lab coat over the edge of the couch.

"That, was Dr. Alexander Brown calling to say that the medication from your previous clinical trial has already saved  _10 lives_  in his hospital. That's really great, Derek." 

"Thank you. You know, there are other things I can do well, Chief…" He winked as his ever present smirk returned to his face. 

"Oh, really? What might that be?"

"Oh, I could... _show you_  better than I could tell you."

I flipped a section of my hair out of my face and walked up to Derek smiling.

"Please do, Dr. Shepherd."

He reached forward and untucked my blouse from my slacks, and I stepped out of my heels. Then, he reached behind me to unpin my hair and pull my top over my head.

"You wore your sexy bra today...did you  _anticipate_ _…_ "

"What can I say? If you take a sexy man, and then you add his even sexier boss,  _and_  you put jealousy on top of all that….sex is the result, 100% of the time."

"Sneaky. You think I'm sexy? How sexy?"

_The only thing that could make that equation better is if you add flattery to that mix_ _…_

So sexy...

"Yeah? His arms wrapped around my waist and set me on top of the edge of my desk. I smiled and began leaning more and more into our kissing.

_God he is hot._

"Show me... _Show me_ Derek."

I could feel his penis against me, throbbing, pushing.

"Mmmm…" He moaned as I resumed kissing his neck.

All of the sudden, I heard the door swing open, and let out a shrill, shocked screech.

" _What the hell?_ _"_

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 

"Dr. Grey, I just wanted tell you, I'm sorry for- What the  _hell?"_

I leaped away from Derek and drew in a sharp breath. "  _Shit!"_

_Ryan had just fucking walked in on us...oh God._ I dove behind my desk and yanked on my clothes.

" _Mr. Anderson, It's nice seeing you again,"_ Derek jabbed, smiling

"Derek!"

"Uhh..I'll just….show myself out…"

"Wait..you…" I zipped up my dress, and stood up from behind my desk. "Shut the door." He reached behind him hesitantly. "Mr. Anderson, I'm going to need your full non-disclosure." He paused.

"Dr. Grey…"

"No. I need you to agree. Now. Because, I know people on the advisor's board, and I can have you-"

"Oh….uh...okay, I won't say anything…."

Derek smirked mischievously. "Derek, no words from you, either." I snapped, but he chose not to listen.

"Mr. Anderson, did you not read into my words when I said Dr. Grey and I would be tied up all day?"

I cleared my throat "Derek, you need to  _shut the hell up!"_

"Oh...okay...just...I'm just gonna...We can talk later…" Ryan turned swiftly and all but ran from

my office.

I looked over at Derek and gasped...he was...  _laughing!"_

"You're fucking  _laughing!?_  How? How is this funny?"

"No...it's not..it's just, the  _look_ on his face!"

"Derek! This is serious. He could tell someone about us!" "Oh, don't be...he's not telling anyone!" "Why...why do you say that?"

"Because you're scary as hell! I mean...not to me...you don't uh...you don't scare me.."

"Sure.  _Sure_ I don't."

"Right." Derek put his hands on his hips, and tried for a sad attempt to puff out his chest.

"Hey, I have to go. I've got a surgery." I said, silencing my pager. "We can uh...  _talk_ some more later…"

"So is Chief Grey still keeping the Donor's Dinner?" Alex asked, taking a bite of his panini.

"I'm not sure, she doesn't exactly strike me at the type to host dinners," I replied, imagining the supercilious idea.

"Well I hope she does," April commented, strolling up to our table.

"Why?" Lexie asked, frowning. "It was such a bore last year."

"Well maybe Maredith will spice it up this year…" I joked, not realizing what I had let slip. "Maredith? I'm a little scared about what she'd do to your ass if she heard you say that…"

_Oh she's already done quite a bit to my ass…_ But of course I won't say that one out loud.

"Oh...she'll be fine."

"Shh...Here she comes.."

"God, you guys act like she's satin or something!" I joked.

"Act like who's satin?" I could literally feel Meredith standing behind me.

"Oh..No one is...I am!"

"You are, Dr. Shepherd? Are you sure that's what you meant to say?"

"Y...Yes Ma'am."

"That's more like it. Now I've not come over here because I like talking with you children, because I don't. There's a department head meeting in 10 minutes, and if you value your job then your asses better be in those chairs."

"Ok! Everyone shut up now!"

I walked to the front of the room, and I could literally feel Derek's eyes on me.

"I called you all here because we need to discuss the treatment plan for the potential paralysis patient in 202. I would like to consult you all to see how you would proceed in your respective departments."

Dr. April Kepner, head of the trauma department, raised her hand with a smile.

"Yes, Dr. Kepner?"

"Oh, well...I was wondering if maybe….you've picked an evening for the donor's dinner?"

"Kepner, I don't see how that's relevant to this meeting….but continuing….Dr. Shepherd, you're

head of neuro...do you have any suggestions? A lateral nerve reattachment might could...that could establish function throughout his right limbs if we don't encounter any errors…"

I scanned the conference table, to see everyone taking notes, and flipping through some medical books. Well...  _almost_  everyone...Derek sat smugly in his chair, blatantly smiling up at me.

I sent him the 'what the hell are you doing' eyes, but yet I could not contain a smile either.

"Hmm….Dr. Shepherd, do you have anything to add?"

"Oh...Thank you, Chief. I actually have a question. Will we be notified of the date for the donor's dinner, so we could invite a date?" He smiled.  _Evil asshole._  Evil  _sexy_ asshole.

"Oh for God's sake people! We are a hospital! We work! We do surgeries, we heal people, and we  _work._ So let's do that."

"Well I for one believe a lateral nerve reattachment would work beautifully Chief."

"  _Thank you_ , Doctor Torres. Someone page an intern to run...a CT and some bloodwork to make sure this is going to work out." I let out a breath and ran my hand through my hair. "We can figure this out."

I just finished going over the CT for the last time today, and I  _really_ needed a break. This was the end of a 16 hour shift, and all I wanted was sleep. Well, sleep, and Dr. Meredith Grey.  _Oh_   _God._ That woman is all I can think about…

Alex, Callie, and April walked into the lounge, breaking me out of my thoughts. April collapsed onto the couch, and Karev threw back a shot of coffee.

"So the Chief is not actually as big of a bitch as I thought." Alex mumbeled.

"Mer...Dr. Grey is  _not_ a bitch. Well, okay, she can be, but once you get to know her, she's really not. She pretends to be, but she's not."

"Since when do you know so much about her? You guys new BFF's or something?"

"No. We aren't BFF's. We just...I just...you know what, I have to go."

I pushed open the door, not bothering to close it behind me after storming out. Down the hallway, and to the elevators. No, wait. The elevators are too slow. Up the stairs, down another hallway to knock on a door.

"Oh, Dr. Grey just left her office to go home for the night...She'll be back tomorrow morning around...  _Dr. Shepherd?_ " I could hear Meredith's assistant still talking from down the hallway, but I was already on my way down the hallway, to see just the woman I was looking for walk into one of the elevators.

"Dr. Grey! Hold the door please." I stepped in, and gave what I hoped resembled a polite smile until the doors had shut.

"Why, hello, Dr. Shepherd. Do you have a question, because unless it's urgent, I'm sure it could wait until tomorrow morning." She smirked, and crossed her arms to her chest.

"Oh, no Dr. Grey, this  _definitely cannot_  wait until morning. I took two steps, and I was just inches away from her face, and it felt like she was pulling me in. I reached forward to uncross her hands from her chest and pull her into me. "No, this is urgent. I need this,  _now."_

"Mmmm….Derek...the doors…people...will see…" She groaned into my lips, then pulling away.

She strolled out of the elevator with a little smile, and ignoring everything inside me that screamed no, I followed her.

"What are you doing?" she whispered sharply.

"Coming home with you Doctor Grey. Like I said, this  _cannot wait_  until tomorrow."

She narrowed her eyes, but kept walking without a word.

Once we were outside, she took a quick look around, and crossed her arms again, and then reached over to open her car door.

She raised her eyebrows, and ducked into the car.

"What are you need, an invitation? Get the hell in my car before anyone sees!"

I smiled satisfied, and slipped in.

Jesus, Maredith, slow down! Derek's hand clenched the safety handle, and his eyes were wide and glued to the road.

"So, you think I'm okay with you calling me Meredith now?"

"Look, you may be my boss at work, but as you can see, we are not at work, therefore you are  _not_ my boss right now."

"Excuse me?"

"At the hospital, you are  _Chief Grey my boss, Doctor Grey, Chief,_  whatever, and I am Dr. Shepherd, head of neuro. But right now, you are Meredith Grey, Mer, whatever, and I am Derek Shepherd, the sexy man in your car, when about to be in your house, and your bed, I presume."

"We're here, so you you want to quit the speech and have sex, or just sit in the car while I find someone else to sleep with?"

"The first one. Definitely the first one."

I stepped out of the car, and strode to the door with Derek in tow, fishing my keys out from my purse, which I nearly dropped while Derek began to kiss my neck.

"Let me get the keys!"

Instead, he slipped his hand under my thighs, and lifted me into his arms.

"Mmmmhhh...Derek-"

He finally found the key and swung the door open.

"Right. Go right, then up the stairs. First door down the...oh….hallway."

We reached the bed, where he dropped me at the edge, and stripped out of the scrubs and tennis shoes he was still wearing, and climbed up next to where I was laying.

"So, Dr. Shepherd...those were some  _scandalous_  looks you were giving me today. That was quite risky, you know."

"What can I say, you make me want to do  _scandalous_ things, Dr. Grey."

I smirked, and ripped of my shirt, then my pants, my bra...my underwear…

I was filled with warmth in more ways than one, and even though I would  _never_ admit this, I just wanted to stay here. Right here.

"By the way…" I pulled myself out from under Derek and kneeled a few feet away from him. "Were you serious about the whole...bringing a date thing?"

"Why yes, I was, Dr. Grey." He smirked.

I backed off of the bed, and narrowed my eyes.

"You wouldn't! You would  _not_  bring a date to my fundraiser at my hospital...and if you do, do not expect me to be friendly."

"Maredith, I was asking because I wanted to bring  _you...I was half joking…"_

"Me...what about the other half, Derek?...Do you  _realize…"_

Derek smiled in a self-righteous way.

"Meredith, I know what you are going to say, so-"

"Oh, so now apparently I am supposed to believe that you know what I'm going to say? No sir, no in fact, you do not know what I am going to say."

"Yes, yes I do. You're going to say,  _'Shut up Derek, we're just sex. Stop talking Derek, I'm your_   _boss Derek!'_ And let me just say, I am not just your employee, and you are not just my boss. I've lost count of our little rendezvous, and I...well, I am tired of pretending that I don't care about you, because I…..because I do. I know you might  _hate_  me for this, but Meredith Grey, I do care about you."

I stood there, just staring, analyzing the situation.

I walked away from the bed, dropping the sheet draped around me.

"Meredith...what the hell...  _where_ are you going?"

I stormed out, down the hallway, and down the stairs, hearing a loud, annoyed sigh from upstairs.

I returned to the doorway, a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses in hand.

"We're drinking?"

"We….are drinking." I kneeled on the bed again and unscrewed the cap, tossing it to the floor. "I

cannot deal with feelings. I have never dealt with feelings Derek. I just…"

"You don't know how."

"I...well...that's not true…" I groaned and poured my first shot down my throat.

"Yes it is."

"Derek...Can we just stop talking now?"

I started to pour another shot, but instead I gripped the bottle and poured a gulp into my mouth.

"Woah...okay...maybe you should uh...slow down."

"Shut up….and drink. I am way too sober to deal with...this."

Derek reached forward, skeptical, but took a shot narrowing his eyes.

I leaned forward, grabbed his shoulders, and kissed him.

"Dr. Grey...we are about to be drunk, and you are taking advantage."

He leaned into me, and we crashed into the pillows, laughing.

"Now who's taking advantage, Dr. Shepherd?"

"In my entire time of knowing you, you have never giggled, Meredith Grey."

"What?! I did no such thing! Shut up and have sex with me."

"Okay, sure."

 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Alright. That will conclude our meeting, so if anyone has any questions, You can consult Dr.

Bailey, who I am sure would be  _happy_  to help. Thank you.

I grabbed my tablet and the ever-present stack of paperwork, walking directly towards my office. I would be lying if I wasn't  _a little disappointed_ that Derek didn't stand in the corridor outside, with his devious smirk and flirtatious jokes. I let my mind drift slowly to last night as my head began to pound once again.

The previous night, 11;00 PM

Everything around me seemed fuzzy. Everything except the man across from me on my bed.  _Derek Shepherd._ That man, with his sexy...well,  _everything_ threw back a shot, and laughed. "Ithink...you're starting to be a bad influence on me, Dr. Grey."

I laughed. "Suuuuure. I'mmm the one who's the bad influence when  _you_ get us caught having sex In my office…"

"Well okay...that one wasn't fair.  _Doctor Douche_ was kissing my sexy sexy boss! I had to react somehow!"

"Ooohhh you reacted alright...3 separate times…" I smirked, remembering the earlier events.

"Well He was  _all over you!_ That was…"

"Interesting. Interesting because I told him exactly how I felt about him. Oh…" I started to laugh uncontrollably. "And then, he had to be the one to walk in on us having sex. He wasn't too happy about that."

"No he wasn't. But I think he understand now exactly who's you are." Derek grinned, and leaned in to kiss me. I decided to give him a bit of satisfaction.

"I'm yours." I said with a smile, knowing he'd be happy with the declaration.

We talked for a little while longer, until my face turned pale, then green, and Derek jumped up to grab the trash can just in time.

"Here. Be still." He wiped my face with a rag, and then, I looked up at him. Seeing something loving and caring in his eyes.

My brain jerked back to reality, with a bad thought in mind.  _Oh no._

_I leaned into his chest and back into the pillows, pulling him closer. "Just...stay here, with me. You were right. We aren't just sex. I do care about you."_

Oh Shit. Did I tell Derek- Do I really...  _no_

I pushed my thoughts out of my head.

_I can't let myself…Do I care about Derek? No. That was only the tequila talking...He knows we really are only sex...right?! But...he was the one who said I only care about sex…_

"Chief? Hello?"

"Oh. Yes Dr. Bailey, I'm sorry, you were saying?"

"I just...want to let you know I answered their questions according to your policy and agenda papers."

"Thank you."

"Chief?"

"Yes?" I smoothed my hands over my face and took a breath.

"Oh..uh...never mind. I apologize. I have to go…"

"What is it Bailey?"

"I...I think something's wrong with...Dr. Shepherd. He came in late this morning, he's looked confused all day, like someone killed his puppy, and he clocked out about an hour ago...But I'm sure he's fine. I'm sorry. I have to go, I'm being paged 911…"

"Go ahead Bailey. I'm sure Dr. Shepherd is...fine."

As soon as she left I shook my head, and tried my best to focus on work again.

—

"Patricia, let Dr. Bailey know I had a personal matter to attend to, and cancel any meetings."

I slipped into my coat and out the door, fishing my keys from my purse.  _This is a shitty idea. I_   _should just….oh God._

I started the car, and began to drive, not sure  _where_ I would find myself at the end of the night.

—

"What the hell?" I slammed my forehead to the dashboard, and pounded the steering wheel with my fists.

My GPS has lead me to a field in the middle of nowhere, in the pouring rain no less.

No matter, I slipped out of my car, and stepped onto the grass.  _Shit. I shouldn't have worn heels_   _to work today._

I took a breath, and continued to cross the field, pushing my dripping curls behind my shoulder, and wiping mascara from my face.

I stopped in my tracks as the door about 3 yards from me swung open.

"Meredith?"

"Hi, Derek."

—-

 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

My head was pounding. My head was pounding, and that's all I know. I pushed my hands against the mattress, struggling to sit up. Stupid shitty hangover.

"Ohhhughhh" Derek moaned beside me.

Wait...Derek?!

"What... What?"I jumped up from the bed. "Oh god...oh no…"

"Oh..what...what's going on? Meredith...what?" Derek leaped up with wide eyes.

"You! You spent the night...we got drunk and fell asleep! With no sex!" I pulled my bra from my chest, and ran into the bathroom to start the water.

"I have to shower...and...and we need to get to work! What time is it?

"It's...6 o'clock…"

"We're late already!"

Derek strode into the bathroom, smirking.

"You know...it would save a lot of time if…."

"Oh...get in asshole."

Within less than 10 minutes we had showered, dressed, and sloppily made coffee, and we were on our way out.

"Derek...you're still wearing your clothes...from last night…Wait…" I grabbed a container of aspirin, handing him 2, and reached behind me into the hatchback. "Take these….and put this on."

I found a sweatshirt in the trunk, and handed it to Derek.

"You want me to wear Victoria's Secret sweats in to work?"

"Well…" I laughed to myself. "At least your boss won't care…"

"Oh shut up." Derek pulled the sweatshirt over his head, and took a gulp of coffee. "Did you just tell your boss to shut up?"

"Oh...well..I think last night...we established…"

"Let's not talk about last night...we're not goingto talk about last night. Ever." "Okay then."

"So, your car is in the parking lot...and you're with me…" "We can go in separately then."

"Okay, but you also have to figure out what you're going to say when you walk in half-an-hour late…"

"Well, like you said, it's not like I'm getting in trouble with my boss." "You're in a lot of trouble with your boss already!"

I stopped the car in my normal parking spot, and unlocked the doors.

"Hood up."

"What?"

"Put your hood up...and stop talking!" I waved Derek to follow me around the corner of the hospital, and fished my keys from my pocket.

"I feel like a spy…"

"Oh...stop acting like an 8 year old and move your ass!"

I pushed open the door and grabbed his arm, entering my office.

"Okay, there's some extra scrubs in the closet, so change, and then go to the ER. Find some work there...get an alibi or something."

"An alibi?"

"Just...go." I laughed and plopped into my chair, starting my desktop and taking a sip of coffee.

It had been over 2 hours since I'd gotten to the hospital with Meredith, and all I could think about was what happened last night. Even though the alcohol had made things a bit fuzzy, and Meredith herself willed me to forget it, I remembered it all clearly.

The previous night, 11:00 PM

"Okay, okay...you win!" I sighed as Meredith pumped her fists into the air victoriously.

"Ha! Hahhahaha!" She slurred, slapping her shot glass upside down to the end table, "I told you! No one beats Meridithgrey innnn a drinking game! Eeeeverrr."

I laughed. "I see that!"

"Wooooh! Let's do it again!"

"Slow down there Dr. Grey. I don't think that is your wisest of ideas. Let's just have some water…and sit for a minute."

Her face turned pale, and then green. Oh no. I jumped off of the bed to grab a trash can, just in time for vomit to come spewing in the general direction.

"Yep. Okay Mer. Time for bed."

She groaned, but didn't object. I got a rag from the bathroom shelf, and soaked it in hot water.

"Okay. Be still for a second." I kneeled in the bed, and wiped the corners of her mouth and face, just as she leaned into my chest with a sigh.

"Meredith, I have to go. We have work in the morning."

"Noooo…" she moaned, leaning back into her pillows and pulling me with her. "Stay here. Stay with me. We can worry about that later."

I sighed. I know she'll regret this in the morning, but what am I supposed to do?

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"You...were right. You care about me. I care about you. We should just tell everyone at the hospital about us. Because we aren't just sex."

"Mer. I...I don't think you'll feel the same way in the morning. I do care about you, I just don't think you're ready yet. To do something irreversible. So let's just go to sleep."

"Okay." She laid her head on my chest, and closed her eyes just as I closed my own, reminding myself that in the morning, Meredith and I would be back in our 'sex only' relationship that I grew to hate a little more every day.

"Derek? Hello?!" Meredith stood in the doorway of my office and blinked.

"Oh...yes? Do you need me?"

"We have a meeting with Mercy West today. Let's go."

"I'll be right there." Just as she left, I sighed, realizing that where my mind had just drifted was memory, not reality, and stood up preparing for the meeting.


	8. Chapter 8

f my post-ops when...I have to go." I ended the call suddenly at the sight out my window.

The rain outside was pouring, but nonetheless, a car pulled up about 50 feet from the trailer, and Meredith Grey began to cross the field.

I crossed the trailer, swinging open the door.

"Maredith?"

She was wearing her same black form fitting dress from this morning, her hair was soaked and in curls, and she wore dark red lipstick. In her heels she continued across the grass, her pace never slowing.

"Hi, Derek."

She marched straight up to the trailer, onto the porch, and through the door.

"What...how…"

"I'm the Chief of surgery. I figure things out."

"I...o...okay…"

"You said some things last night when we were drinking...did you mean them?"

"Which ones?" I asked, even though I knew what she meant.

"The ones where you said...oh I don't know... you have feelings for me?!"

" I…Well you said the same things! You said you think we should tell the whole hospital aboutus!"

"I was drunk, Derek!"

"And so was I!"

"Well...That's not what I'm asking. Did you mean what you said?" "Well, as much as I could have after that much tequila!" "You and I both know you barely drank!"

"What about you, Maredith? Did you mean what you said? About caring about me, or am I really just sex to you?"

"You...Derek...I thought we were in the same page!" "So...I am just sex to you…" "No...it's just…"

"It's just that you like sleeping with me, and that's where we end." "Derek…Let's not do this." She hissed.

"Do what? Because if I am really just sex to you, and that's all we'll ever be, then I need you to tell me. Right now."

"Derek...okay...no. That's not all you are to me. Is that what you wanted me to say?" "Well...not like that, no, because now you're just saying it to make me stop talking!"

" Jesus!I can't win with you! You know what...I shouldn't have come. I...I'll see you tomorrow." "Maredith, you can't just leave in a storm like this!" "Oh? Watch me."

She strode to the door, pushing it open, and storming out into the rain.

"Maredith, okay stop." I followed her out of the trailer, but she kept walking.

"Stupid fucking shoes!" She screamed, jerking her shoes from her feet and continuing to walk to her car.

"Meredith, this is crazy. Here, hand me your shoes."

"No! Derek, just go inside, go away, and leave me alone."

"Fine. If you want to act like a child, then I will too." I wrapped my arm around her waist and lifted her easily over my shoulder walking back to the trailer.

"Derek...you asshole! Put me down!"

"No." I opened the door to the trailer, finally setting her down. "Look, just wait until the storm stops before you leave. I...I'm not asking."

"Did you just say you're not asking ? Just who the hell do you think you are?" "Yes." I said calmly. "You don't have to talk to me, just don't leave yet."

Okay, well I can't leave. I can't get back down the hill in the storm. So you've trapped me here until the rain goes. Happy now, asshat?"

"Very. You should go take a shower."

"Oh sure, and have to walk around naked all night? Nice try buddy."

"Well as much as I would love that, I have a T-shirt or something you could use." "I hate you."

"I hate you too."

I handed her a pair of sweats with an unreturned smile.

"Here you go, Doctor Grey."

"Ha Ha Ha."

She strode into the bathroom, and I heard the water start. "I'm locking the door, so don't get any ideas, Derek!"

I smirked. Too late.

I dug another pair of sweats out from my closet, and changed, falling onto the bed.

A shocked smile curved on my face, as Meredith's own appeared on the TV.

This year, former Chief, Dr. Richard Webber and his fellow surgeons at Seattle Grace Hospital welcome Dr. Meredith Grey as the hospital's new Chief of surgery. Before her transfer to Seattle, Dr. Grey headed the neurology department at Mt. Sinai hospital. Dr. Grey is the first woman to become Chief of a major national hospital, and also the youngest by far.

The door to the shower open, and she strode out in the sweats, looking confused. Derek, what are you watching?"

"You…" I pointed up at the TV.

"No no no...cut that off." I knew exactly what was about to become public knowledge in a matter of seconds would shock everyone at the hospital, including Derek. "Derek, hand me the damn remote."

"No! I want to see this!"

Here it comes…

Dr. Grey is the daughter of the senior Doctor Ellis Grey, the Chief of Mt. Sinai hospital, as well as the recipient of three Harper Avery awards in her lifetime.

"What" Derek shouted. "Ellis Grey is your mother?"

I sighed, dropping my hands as my face fell with them.

"That answers my question for me. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because...this. And why would I have?"

"Because...she's...Ellis Grey!"

"I know. That's how everyone always reacts. Like I only got into med school and got these jobs because of who she is."

"No, that's not what I meant...it's just…how amazing would it be to grow up with her as your mother?!"

" Oh pretty amazing…" I moaned, knowing Derek hadn't picked up on the sarcasm.

"Wait, I want to hear the rest of what they're saying!"

Dr. Grey has declined any time with us on the air today, but you can tune in to her interview with us tomorrow at 5 PM.

"Wow. You're on TV"

"Oh. Yeah. So cool. It wouldn't be the first time…"

"Mer! Don't…"

"I told you. I don't do nicknames. I have an early shift and I guess I'm sleeping over, so I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Meredith...what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just forget I said anything."

She climbed onto the bed, tucking herself under the sheets.

"Okay…" I said skeptically, climbing into bed bedside her and flipping off the lights. "Goodnight...I guess."

She rolled over, pulling the blankets with her in an angry sigh.

I tried, but I couldn't fall asleep. All I could do was re-play the news segment and her reaction in my head. Why wouldn't someone be happy about that? If not for herself, then at least for the hospital…And being Ellis Grey's daughter...growing up with that kind of surgical talent...

"I can't."

I pulled myself out of my thoughts and flipped the lights back on.

"What?"

"Care about someone, I mean. I can't. I was taughtnot to. My whole life, I was taught that love...I mean….caring about someone, is a weakness."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because. You...you deserve to know that it's not that I don't want to care about you, it's just like you said. I don't know how. During my entire childhood, not once was I with a parent on my birthday, nor did I ever hear them say 'I love you'."

"Oh. God, Maredith I...how did you...what did you do?"

"What do you mean? I didn't have a choice. My mom basically lived at Sinai, and my dad was just never there. I learned how to cook, how to clean, and how to be my own friend. At least the woman taught me that."

"Jesus…"

She pushed her palm against her forehead, and inhaled sharply. "Look, I'm sorry for springing all of this on you. This is why I just keep to myself. I...I shouldn't have..uh.."

"No. No no no, that's not it. You need to...you can't just keep all of this to yourself. You need a Someone..."

"And you'regoing to be my Someone, I assume."

"Well, Yeah...that was implied."

"So when was the last time you saw your mom?"

2 years ago, when I moved to Seattle."

"Oh…"

"She's still the Chief at Sinai, and doesn't have time for visits. But that's okay. The woman's a bitch."

"Oh…"

"You're just going to say 'oh' to something like that?"

"No, that's just shocking. That someone as successful and strong as you had to do it all on your own."

"Well I did. But enough of this. I'm going to sleep now."

"Okay." Derek moved closer to me and smiled.

"I do care about you, Derek. So...just...don't walk away now."

"I won't walk away. Goodnight,"

I had been laying in the same position for the last 47 minutes. I was in the bed in the trailer and everything was normal. Except it wasn't. Meredith is in the trailer with me. Asleep on purpose, and not trying to leave. But, I know if move, then she will wake up and then she'll just leave."

I smiled, just enjoying the fact that she is here. Right here, in my arms, holding my hand, which is not something she would do on purpose.

All of a sudden, the alarm clock blared, and unlike yesterday, Maredith did not sleep through the noise.

"Auugh I'm up…" she sat forward flipping her hair behind her shoulder realizing how we'd been laying before, and sliding her hand out of mine quickly. "Okay...I'm just gonna…" She stood up from the bed and checked the clock.

"Ugghghhhh."

"Good morning to you too…"

"Where the hellis your coffee?"

"Bottom right."

She swung open the drawer, and checked her watch.

"We have to stop by my house to get clothes…."

I pulled a shirt and jeans out from the closet, and found my ID.

"So Mer...last night...does everyone at the hospital already know about your mom?"

She froze threw her purse over her shoulder, and slapped her palm to her forehead.

"Shit! Shit shit shit! No! No one knew…"

"Okay, look, just take a deep breath…"

"Derek, get your ass out of bed...we have to go!"

"Oh okay...alright...we're going then…"

—-

I checked the clock on the dashboard, my mind going faster than our speeding car. When we get to the hospital...Mer is going to be….I don't even know what she'll be…

She suddenly slammed the front door and crossed the yard, still in my sweats with an outfit in hand.

"What are you doing?"

"We don't have time for me to change here."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"I'll change in the car! Here...roll up the windows."

I pulled out of her driveway, pulling on to the interstate, and Mer pulled my sweatshirt over her head, and pushed the sweatpants onto the floorboard.

"Oohkay So we're doing this…"

"Eyes on the road, Derek! Drive! And you said it yourself...it's not like you haven't seen-"

"It's not that I haven't seen you naked..it's just...a little distracting…"

"Oh...am I distracting you?"She slid closer to me and pushed her naked body against the seat.

" Shit." I nearly went off the road.

"Ohhhh...I think I am!" She laughed. "Dr. Shepherd, you need to pay attention! You wouldn't want to crash with your boss in the car."

"Oh, I'm sorry Dr. Grey, I was a little... preoccupied."Derek muttered through gritted teeth, turning onto the street the hospital is on.

"Do you want me to go in with you when everyone finds out-"

"No. We don't anything like 'Chief Meredith Grey has torrid affair with attending' on the gossip mill on top of everything else."

I laughed out loud, and glanced over at her. "You know...they're all going to find out eventually...maybe we should just-"

"Absolutely not."

"But.."

"No. No way."

"Well when are we going to tell them?"

"When did I give you any indication that I wanted everyone to know?"

"You didn't."

"Exactly."

"But were still telling them eventually."

"Derek!"

"We're both in this, so we will decide together when we tell them."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Meredith?"

"What?!"

"We're here."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

-10 minutes later-

I stood in the waiting room, watching the crowds of other doctors around the TV's whispering. Karev, Hunt, Yang, and Amelia walked up, shaking their heads. "You caught up on the news about Grey, Shepherd?"

"Yes. I am." I answered, trying not to show any opinion.

"Can you believe that? I mean, someone who has Ellis Grey as a mother, around all of the time like that...I mean, she's basically guaranteed acceptance into med school, not to mention any residency program….and….do you think she got chief because…"

"No." I answered sternly. "She did all of that on her own. With no help from her mother."

"Woah there Shep. Defensive much?"

"I'm not...just...no. If you knew the story behind Grey and her mom...then...just no."

"And you do? Know the story, I mean?" Amelia questioned, looking at me skeptically.

"No...not really, It's just that...Dr. Grey told me a bit about her mother a while ago, and she's not exactly warm and fuzzy."

"Oh. Well, that's surprising...I would never peg Grey to talk about something like that…" Alex added.

"Look, let's not talk about this. I'm going to go get some coffee."

I started to walk away, but then Meredith strolled into the room, climbing halfway up the stairs and waving her arms, everyone immediately falling silent.

"Okay, so there has been some news, and I'm just going to tell you all firsthand: Yes, Dr. Ellis Grey is my mother. Also, the donor's dinner will be this Friday night. The department heads will not be on call during this time, unless there is an emergency. Questions, anyone?" She paused. "Good. Then let's get back to work."

Everyone disbursed, and Meredith strode down the steps, heading straight for where me and the other attendings were sitting.

"Doctors. Good morning."

"Good morning, Chief."

She passed by with a sigh, pulling her hair up and heading for the OR.

—

Two days later, Friday afternoon.

"Hey there sexy."

"Shh! The door is open!"

Derek kicked his foot behind him, slamming the door.

"What will the other attendings think, seeing you come into my office like that all the time?" "Well, I'd say they think you're my boss, talking to one of your doctors." "You're a funny man, Dr. Shepherd."

"I know. So the dinner is tonight…"

"It is. And I still have so much to do." The phone on my desk rang. "This has better be the coordinator!" I answered the phone, and clicked to put it on speakerphone.

"Seattle Grace hospital, this is-"

"Yes, Great. I need to speak with Dr. Meredith Grey."

"Speaking…" Derek looked at me and then the phone questioningly.

"Please hold for Doctor Ellis Grey."

My eyes shot to Derek. " What the hell?"

"Dr. Grey." I heard my mother's cold and distanced voice on the end of the line.

"Dr. Grey." I replied, honestly not quite sure what to say.

"I am coming to the hospital."

"Excuse me?"

"I was requested at your hospital, so I'm coming. I suppose you've seen the news, so now everyone around you must know of the terms of our relationship, so I am coming to Seattle."

"Requested?! By whom?" My jaw dropped, and I exchanged shocked looks with Derek.

"Dr. Miranda Bailey, the head of General. The fact that you aren't aware of this information at this point tells me all I need to know about whether or not you've actually done something with your life, Maredith."

"Mother, you haven't bothered to call me in 2 years, and then you decide to call my hospital to insult me? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Well, I'm just stating the obvious, Meredith!"

"Ok. I'm going to hang up now."

"I'm still coming. You're welcome by the way. You should be happy that I'm willing!"

I slammed the phone into the cradle and walked over to the sofa, placing my head in my hands.

"Maredith…that was…"

"That was my mother."

"Well I was going to say horrible."

"Same difference."

I reached forward to grab Derek's hands, smiling. "My mother's a bitch, Derek. I'm used to it."

"No! You can't go in there! Dr. Grey is in a meeting!"

"I can't Watch me!"

All of a sudden, I heard yelling outside my office door.

"What the hellis going on?" I stood up from the couch, letting go of Derek's hands, just as my door burst open.

"Who the hell?" I stated, startled, just as my mother burst into my office. "Mother?" "Meredith. Hello."

I just..stood there, shocked.

"What, did you not take me seriously when I said I was coming?" "I...why are you in my office?"

"Because you're the chief of surgery, and I am a visiting surgeon." Derek was still seated on the couch, not having said a word.

"Who are you, and why are you in my daughter's office?" she snapped, peering at Derek.

"This is Doctor Shepherd, the head of neurosurgery, and he is here because, unlike you, he works here."

"Well, you can leave." She gestured to Derek. "I am speaking with my daughter." "Excuse me? You can't just….Derek, stay here."

"I...I think maybe I'll just give you two a minute to…"

"Doctor Shepherd, stay here."

Derek sat slowly back on the couch taking a deep breath.

"So, Maredith, you aren't seeing anyone now, are you?"

I gave a quick glance in Derek's direction, who discreetly tried shaking his head looking extremely nervous.

"No. I'm...I'm not."

"Because relationships slow down your career, and that's not what you need. Definitely not what you need, Maredith. You're behind enough already."

Derek stared at my mother, astounded, and I could tell he was biting his tongue to keep from yelling. If I was being honest, a tiny part of me wished he would go off on her.

"Meredith, you aren't half the doctor I was when I was your age. You are behind! Can you not see that? All I want for you is to be successful, and you aren't you are-"

"Stop!" Derek shouted, and I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling.

"Excuse me?" she bit back, sending Derek quite the bitter glare.

"Stop talking that way about Meredith. She's twice the person you are, from what she's told me. She's successful, she's encouraging, and she's an amazing leader. So...stop...stop being so cold to her."

I was shocked. I was, but also, I was thankful. So thankful, that finally someone had bit back.

"You have overstepped, Dr. Shepherd. Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Who are you to say that, mother? Are you his...boss?"

"Well, no, but.."

"But nothing. Leave."

"What?"

"You may not be able to leave my hospital, but you sure as hell don't have to be in my office, so get out. Now."

"I'm not done with you Maredith!" She threw her hands up, but strode out of my office, slamming the door.

I looked at Derek, and then back at the closed door.

"Thank you for that."

"Oh my god." Derek uttered.

"I told you she's a bitch."

5:30 PM, 1 ½ hours until Donor's Dinner

"You look…" Derek strode into my office and shut the door, wrapping his arms around my waist to study me standing in the mirror.

"Beautiful, I know." I winked and let out a chuckle.

"Well, I was going to say stunning."

"Oh, well I'm both then."

"You are." Derek beamed, and placed his hands on my shoulders to look me in the eyes.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Dr. Shepherd…" I smiled and adjusted his tie a bit.

"Thank you." He cocked an eyebrow and exaggeratedly flipped his hair.

"Maredith, are you...ready? For tonight? With the new news...and your mother being at the hospital?"

"Well, I don't have a choice…"

"I mean, you could just...not show up…"

"No! I have to."

"But, if you didn't, then we could do much more fun things."

"As much as I love those... things, I have to do this. And so do you! So, we need to go."

I let go of Derek's arms, and lat my face fall neutral as I opened the double doors, strolling into the hall with Derek in tow.

"Hello, Doctor Shepherd, Chief," Miranda Bailey strolled up, smiling "Hello, Dr. Bailey." I answered, smiling and trying to seem distanced enough.

Miranda strolled away at the call of some other doctors, smiling.

Something, no, someonecaught my eye just as I snached a flute of champagne from a passing waiter.

"Derek." I whispered sharply, practically downing the drink.

"Woah. slow down." He whispered.

"No, Derek, look."

I directed Derek's glance straight to the man standing across the room. Ryan Anderson.

"Oh….Jesus…" Derek smirked. "The bastard came to dinner…"

"Derek! Let's just go….you go talk...to someone…" I sat the champagne down on a waiter's

platter, and strolled away, just in time to hear, "Doctor Shepherd, Doctor Grey, hello!" Shit.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Oh...hello, Mr. Anderson."

"Yes, yes, fancy to see you and Doctor Shepherd here... together…"

"No, not really, I mean, we do work together...all the time…" Derek answered honestly as I smiled.

I noticed myself unconsciously standing close to Derek, looking way too comfortable to just be co-workers, so I took a small step away.

I looked around me, and discreetly narrowed my eyes, trying to remain calm and smiling. "You do remember our little agreement, Mr. Anderson?" "Yes. Yes Ma'am."

"You aren't going to say more than you should?" "No Ma'am."

Derek looked to me, smirking and I had to elbow him to keep him serious. "Okay. Shoo." Ryan walked away quickly, looking like he might pee himself. "I told you you were scary as hell."

"Shh! And you too! You need to...I don't know...like talk to someone. Other than me I mean." "I don't want to!"

"Stop it! You sound like a whining toddler. Now go."

"Yes ma'am…" Derek said, purposefully whining.

I shook my head and slipped into the crowd, waving at some doctors from another hospital as they passed by.

"Dr. Grey!" A deep voice from behind me said as I spun around.

Dr. Bill Meyers walked up smiling and shook my hand confidently. Oh no. I could remember clearly from the last time he came to the hospital. He's quite the flirt. Derek would hate- Ismirked to myself, remembering clearly as well just what happens to Derek when he's jealous.

"Dr. Meyers!" I replied with a smile. "How are you doing?"

"Great, but I should ask how you are. Being Chief of surgery and all. Congratulations!"

"Thank you. It's terrific. Things have been running pretty smoothly here."

"That's great! Have all the guys been falling all over you yet?

"Pretty much." I smirked.

"I understand why. You are stunning, Dr. Grey!" He smiled genuinely, but I could literally feel Derek's eyes burning into the back of my head.

All of a sudden, he appeared behind me, causing me to smirk and spun around.

"Good evening Chief, Dr. Meyers."

"Oh, hello Doctor Shepherd, I didn't know you'd be here tonight." I smiled innocently.

"Dr...Grey, we have to go." he stated raising his eyebrows.

"Excuse me?"

"We're being paged to the ER. Trauma 7."

"Oh okay." I said skeptically. "I'm sorry Dr. Meyers, we'll have to catch up later." I smirked knowingly at Derek.

"That's quite alright. I should come here and have lunch at your state-of-the-art cafeteria."

"That would be lovely.I'm sorry, I really have to go. I'll see you soon!"

I snickered, walking away behind Derek and disappearing back through the double-doors.

"Okay, as much as I love a good booty call from you, or rather, booty page, I really need to get back out there and figure out everything with the donors. Oh, and you say you don't get jealous!"

"I...might have said that...but I'm not jealous...We really are being paged. You can check for yourself."

I pulled my pager from my hip, and read, sure enough, a page to trauma 7, but by anonymous….

"What? Who paged us."

"I know as much as you do."

We walked quickly to a scrub station, scrubbed in, and grabbed two trauma gowns.

"Here, I'll tie."

I turned so my back was to Derek as he pushed my hair to one side in front of my shoulders and tied the yellow strings to themselves. We switched, and then continued, running towards the trauma room, slipping on a pair of blue gloves, ready for a trauma.

I pushed open the door, seeing the last person I expected on the other side.

My mother.

She strode around us, her arms crossed at her chest, yanking the blinds shut, and blocking the door just as it slammed shut.

"What the hell is this?" I shouted, crossing my arms at my chest as well. "Where's the trauma?"

"Uh, take a look in a mirror." She answered, smirking.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean, may I ask?"

She left my question unanswered, looking straight at Derek.

"How long have you been sleeping with my daughter?"

"Excuse me?" We both said at the same time, not helping our case.

"Answer the question, Dr. Shepherd."

"I'm not...we're not…" he answered, looking like he might vomit.

"Mother...I don't know whatyou're thinking, saying something like that!"

"Oh, I'm not an idiot, Maredith. I see how you two are."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, Let's see...every time I've come by your office you're conveniently both in a meeting, you are always calling her Maredith," She gestured to Derek. "And you've been all over each other all night. And, really Maredith!? Zip up your damn dress."

My face paled, and I reached behind me to feel, to my horror that a good bit of my dress was not zipped.

"That...that's not…"

Derek reached behind me in an attempt to zip the dress, but I slapped his hand away.

"Derek!"

"See…." She crossed her arms again and her eyebrows shot up. "Just like that."

My brow furrowed and I shot Derek a glare.

"What?"

I said nothing, and turned back to face my mother.

"Just stay the hell out of my business. Now move aside. I have to go."

"So you are sleeping with her."

"Uhhm...Dr. Grey?" Derek looked at me questioningly.

"Oh don't go all Dr. Greyat this point...I've had an affair before. In this hospital to be exact. So, I know what it looks like. And this is exactlywhat it looks like."

I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a sharp breath, clenching my fists together.

"I think it would be best if you leave."

"Meredith...you need to end this now." She snapped, completely ignoring the fact that Derek was standing right there.

"Leave."

"Meredith Grey! I am your mother, and you damn well need to listen to me!" She grabbed my wrist, but I yanked it away with force.

"GET THE HELL OUT!" I stormed past her and opened the door, waving her out. I took a deep breath. "I will see to it that your are transferred back to Sinai as soon as possible." She didn't respond, but instead reacted as usual by storming out of the room muttering curses under her breath.

I closed the door quietly, taking a seat on the trauma bed feeling like I might cry.

"Oh my god. My mother knows...Ellis Grey knows! About...us...oh...oh, this is bad."

All of a sudden I couldn't seem to catch my breath, heaving air in and out with a terrified expression permanently stamped on my face.

"Meredith...Mer...relax, breathe. You're okay. It's okay." He pulled me close to his chest, and placed his warm hand on my face as he sat down next to me.

"No! This is not 'okay', Derek, this is far from okay. Who the hell knows whatshe could do with that kind of information! She could tell...other doctors...the whole hospital...the press…"

"Mer, none of this is happening tonight.I can go back to the dinner, and tell anyone who asks that a trauma came up, or a family situation, whatever you want, while you go home and get some sleep. We'll know how to face this tomorrow."

"But what if it does happen..Tonight?! She could make a statement to any given news channel, and then I'm everywhere! We're everywhere!"

"Look, Don't freak out on me, but honestly, what's the worst case scenario if that does happen?"

"Well, hmm…" She began, sarcasm apparent in her voice. "If this doesn't come from me, then I could be fired by the hospital board, I could be stripped of my medical license, I be sued by literally any of the patients we've operated on…"

"On what grounds?" He asked.

"Malpractice! Favoritism! Sexual harassment!"

"Not sexual harassment! The only one who could sue you for that would be me, and that's not something I'm going to do, obviously!"

"Well, Fine, but the first two are entirely possible, Derek! Any of your patients could claim negligence since I control your operation schedule. And I have a medical degree, not a law degree, so I'm sure there's plenty of other probable cause I'm not even thinking of…and they would claim this all because it wouldn't be coming from you and I. It would be coming from my fucking mother."

"Mer...I doubt your mom would tell anyone about us…"

"Oh really? Have you met the damn woman? A chance to ruin the life and career of the daughter she never wanted? To get back at the child that ruined her life? Oh, she'd love that."

I could see obvious sympathy in Derek's eyes, which had gone from shocked and afraid to warm and concerned. But concern was not what I need right now. I need to figure this out.

"I'm sorry I drug you into this…"

"What!? Are you really saying that to the man who chased you around for months, knowing you were my boss? I don't think so. We made this decision together. If anything I should be apologizing for forcing you into this…"

"Do not go there." I warned. "Don't be stupid. We're both in this. Good outcome or bad."

"Why are you doing this?"

"What?"

"Risking your career for this?'

"Oh, now you're the one being stupid, Meredith. It's because I care about you. Whether you know how to care about me or not."

My head tipped to the side, and I suddenly felt and overwhelming sense of calm."You can call me Mer now. If you want." I smiled, yet I felt as if I was going to cry.

"Okay. "

"I'm going to learn how to care, and you're going to teach me."

"Okay."

"Alright. Too much warm and fuzzy all at once. We need to figure this the hell out."

All of a sudden, my mother burst back into the room, looking angrier than I'd seen her in a long time.

Oh no...again. :)


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Maredith, you're going to end this. Right now, or I will personally go up onto that stage and tell the whole hospital, and the TV cameras about...whatever the hell this is."

"Mother…" She snapped

"Meredith Grey, do not test me…"

"Do not test you? What am I, eight? You cannot tell me what to do, and certainly not in my own hospital."

"I will walk up on the stage and ruin both of your lives, and I will do it right now."

Meredith jerked away from me and stormed up to her mother, apparently not at all afraid to get right in her face.

"Are you sure about that? Because if you do that, then I'll be sure to make the press aware of your affair with Richard as well, when he was your boss. They'll have fun with that. Dr. Ellis Grey of Mount Sinai Hospital has affair with former Chief Richard Webber during which time they were both married."

"Screw you Maredith. Don't come crawling back to me when the two of you crash and burn."

Her face was red with anger as she took a huge step forward towards the door, but I gripped her arm tightly, yet not enough to hurt.

"Mer, don't do something you're going to regret later…"

"I...I'm going up there to tell them about us. All of them."

"Meredith, you will hate yourself tomorrow if you do this, and you will hate me even more if I let you." He stated firmly, holding her close despite her anger.

She leaned against me and fell silent, until I heard her quiet sobs and felt her body shake. "This is what I meant when I told you my mother hates me. I was her worst mistake."

"You, you were her best mistake Meredith Grey. Her most beautiful, most amazing mistake."

She leaned in and pressed a kiss to my lips, and then pulled away, tears still streaming down her face, and began to laugh.

"Wh...what's so funny?"

"Oh….I...I have never seen that woman so angry in my entire life…" She gasped between laughs.

I shook my head at her as she wiped mascara stains from her swollen face with a trauma towel.

"Come with me." She grabbed my wrist, suddenly taking off down the dark hospital hallway and rushing through the back exit in her office.

"Where the hell are we going?" I asked, having to practically run to keep pace.

"Somewhere else." She slowed down a little as the heel of her shoe snapped in half.

"Shit, shit shit!"

"Be quiet, Doctor Grey! We don't want people to see us making a run for it…"

"My shoes!"

"Here." I effortlessly lifted her small frame into my arms and continued towards her car.

She started laughing again, giving up on fighting me, to just rest her head on my shoulder.

I lowered her into the passenger seat and shut the door behind myself.

"What are you doing?" She asked, smiling again.

"This…" I began, unable to hold back my own smile. "Is me, showing you exactly what caring looks like."

So that's it for this chapter...do you guys want to see more of Ellis, or should she just leave? Also, do you all want Mer to stay mean a little bit (in a funny way) or just get nice? Thoughts? :)


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Hey guys. I just wanted to let you all know, I'm changing up the department heads to flow with some future events more smoothly. I promise, you'll like it though ;)

"No! I need UNOS on the phone stat! My hospital has twelve patients minutes away from dying, and UNOS won't answer the damn phone….No, I am most certainly not able to hold one moment!" Derek slowly entered my office, raising his eyebrows at my tone of voice.

"I need you to put the director of UNOS on the line immediately, unless you'd like me to speak to your supervisor...Listen, I do not have time for this. I have an emergent surgery to attend to,

so you're going to have to speak to my head of neurosurgery." I frowned and handed the phone to Derek, who was obviously caught off guard.

"This is Doctor Derek Shepherd speaking…..yes….You know, it would be in your own best

interest that you should listen to what my...uh...my boss has to say….no, she's not someone

you want to screw with"

I smiled over at him after that last comment.

"...Yes, have it flown here immediately...goodbye."

"Done."

"Thank you. You know, I think I like authoritative Derek…"

He smiled, walking up to me. "Good morning."

Out of impulse, I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into me, kissing him with passion, and then letting him go just as fast to leave my office in a sprint. "Good morning, Dr. Shepherd." I yelled from down the hallway, picturing his shocked, yet giddy expression.

I had just left Mer's office, but my smirk had not yet left my face. I entered the cafeteria, and took my usual seat at the table with the heads of the other departments. I slid in next to Kepner (head of trauma), and Alex Karev, (head of peds), and took a bite out of my sandwich.

"Shep, you got here just in time, Avery (head of plastics) is about to get kebobed by the chief…" Dr. Christina Yang (head of cardio) said with an evil smirk.

"Why?" I said, trying to hide my own smirk in a bite of an apple. It was hard to believe that any of them were this scared of Maredith. Well...not really...he could see exactly how they might still be scared of her, but it's hard for him to be scared of her the same way after...well...everything.

"Because he angered a patient….stupid." Dr. Miranda Bailey, (head of general) said, not at all

trying to stop herself from laughing at Avery's misfortune.

"Not just any patient...a very important patient, apparently. Someone Grey's mom had at Sinai."

"Oh. Oh no." I replied, trying to swallow my own laughter at Avery as his face paled. I could see Maredith entering the cafeteria.

"Uhh Avery, you've got an infuriated looking Chief Grey at 12:00.." Kepner replied.

"AVERY!" Despite her heels, Mer stormed over at a surprising pace.

"I can see that, April." Jackson snapped through gritted teeth.

"Yes Ma'am?"

"What the hell do you mean, yes ma'am? Do you really think pleasantries will get you out of this mess?"

"No. Of...of course not. Ma'am."

I couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter, of course earning a glare in my direction. If our relationship ever gets out, she definitely would not get accused of favoring me.

"Do you realize what we're dealing with, Avery? One of my mother's patients of 6 years has come to our hospital to receive...what... the wrong damn face?"

"Well...that was the...the face she picked, so…"

"Crazy woman. Kepner scoot over."

April moved away from the edge of the seat, looking confused, but Meredith plopped onto the bench. "God, I'm starving...Sorry Derek." Mer grabbed my plate of fries and smiled.

"That's uh...that's fine…" Mer stood up from the table with the fries and grinned. I received more than a few questioning looks.

"Eat what you all can fit in your faces and then get your asses to the conference room. And Avery, you better fix that face!"

She walked away quickly, and Miranda's face turned sideways. "Did she just call you Derek?"

"No...she uh...she said Dr. Shepherd…" It came out more like a question.

"I thought she hated you…."

"Me too," I said, trying to sound convincing. "You know, she's actually pretty nice."

"Yeah. Nice my ass…" Avery replied.

"We've been invited to the National Medical Capitals Conference in Orlando, which will be in two weeks. Attendance for the heads of each department is necessary, and hotels and airfare will be included. We arrive Thursday, and get in Saturday night. Questions, go."

"Are we supposed to be at the hospital the morning that we leave?"

"No. All of your shifts end the night before at 6 P.M, and you'll need to get to the hospital at 5 AM Sharp on Thursday morning. Do not be late. The bus will be there to pick up and drop off at the airport for our 8 A.M flight." Hotel check-in is at 10, and yes ladies and gentlemen, you must share a room with one of your fellow doctors. You are certainly comfortableenough with each other, so just pretend it's an on-call room," I said with a smirk, as a few others laughed.

"The conference is on Friday and Saturday from 7:00-1:00 on the second floor of the hotel. I don't care what you all do before and after those times, just be on time, look nice, and do not act like children.Okay...get back to work."

Everyone is apparently used to my meeting style now, because they stood up, walked out, and immediately continued working.

"Chief, I have some questions about some timing for the trip..." Derek said professionally as the door to the conference room closed. But as soon as we were alone, he over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. My arms instinctively looped around his neck as our lips connected with a spark. I smiled as he lifted me up so I was sitting on the edge of the table.

My legs wrapped around his back, and my hands slipped into his suit jacket. We just seemed to...fit.

"That….was for kissing me like that and then leaving me in your office this morning."

"Oh..I'm so sorry, Dr. Shepherd..." I smirked and kissed him back with equal passion.

"No you're not." He said. "You keep up a professional front, Dr. Grey, but sometimes you can be veryunprofessional."

"Oh, well if my being unprofessional effects you that much, Dr. Shepherd, then I can have the hotel rearrange our rooms so that we're no longer together…" My voice trailed off as I let out a giggle.

"No. No no no. There's no need for...such extreme measures, I would not want to cause trouble. Aren't the other heads going to think us sharing a room will be weird?"

"No, everyone's sharing a room. And it's not any of their business either.

My pager beeped from my waist, and I groaned. "I have to go. A lot of my surgeries are back to back so I think I'm crashing here tonight, but I'll call."

"Okay…" He said slowly, whining.

"Derek, we're about to spend four days together...I think you'll be fine." I smiled and gave him a pat on the shoulder which was returned with a frown.

"Scotch, please. And neat." I took a seat at one of the barstools at Joe's, letting out a long sigh.

"Dr. Shepherd." George O'Malley said from the seat next to mine.

"Dr. O'Malley."

"Long day?" He asked, finishing off what looked like one of many rounds of drinks.

"Well, a patient that I've known for about two years flatlined on my table today, so...yes."

"Oh. I can match that…"

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Go for it." I replied.

"I think I'm in love with Meredith Grey."

The drama never stops, does it? COMMENT! :)


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"I think I'm in love with Meredith Grey."

"Pardon me?" I stuttered.

"Meredith…" He threw back yet another drink. "I'm...I'm in love with the...the chief."

Oh hell no.

"I...I'm sorry, I'm telling my boss about how I'm in love with his boss...I should stop…" he mumbled.

"Yes. You should." I massaged the back of my neck with my hand and traded my drink for a water and a granola bar since I would be back on call soon.

"I...I have a shift...Goodbye, Doctor O'Malley."

He didn't reply, but took another gulp of his drink just as I walked off, wondering if there were any men in the hospital that aren't in love with my...whatever Maredith is…

I quickly climbed the stairs straightening my scrubs, and stopped outside Mer's door with a quiet knock.

"Hey! I thought I wasn't going to get to see you until we leave for the conference…"

"Well, some surgeries came up and I've got some stuff to supervise with the new interns, so I thought I'd come by. I can go ahead downstairs if you're swamped…"

"No, you're...okay…" She looked distracted by something on her computer screen for a moment, but seemingly shook it off to sit next to me on the small grey office couch. "Hi."

"Hi," She smiled and leaned into my shoulder.

"Mer how long has it been since you slept?"

"Stop being my dad, Derek." She muttered.

"We both know I am definitely not your dad."

she laughed.

"Meredith…" I replied, my tone deaf serious.

"Too long."

"Mer, you have to sleep."

She giggled and scooted closer, looking up at me from lying flat on my lap.

"I didn't mean on me!" I said, but couldn't help laughing.

"Fine then. I won't sleep." She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled my lips to hers with a malicious grin. "Mer…"

"What? You said don't sleep on top of you, well this isn't sleeping…."

"You drive me crazy, Meredith Grey."

-MEANWHILE, AT JOE'S-

"George, you really shouldn't be telling me this...that's my boss you're talking about…"

George O'Malley remained in his seat at Joe's seemingly unphased by the fact that he'd confessed his love for Meredith twice tonight, to 2 of his superiors.

"I told you...I'm in love with her…and you know what...I'm going to tell her. Tonight."

"That's a horrible idea...in my professional and personal opinion."

"I don't care." Tonight, George and his liquid courage were determined to tell Meredith exactly how he felt.

He dodged a few bikes crossing the street, and entered the hospital, noticing Meredith had clocked in awhile ago, and was probably in her office now. So, he tried his best to wipe the alcohol out of himself, tapping his foot anxiously as the elevator slowly rose.

This is it. No going back. He smiled confidently, stopping at her office door, not bothering to knock…

I told you...I think you all know what's coming. Also just a thought- should I start posting my chapters regularly? Please let me know... bye;)


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

This is it. No going back.He smiled confidently, stopping at her office door, not bothering toknock, instead bursting into her office unannounced.

"Meredith Grey, I'm in love with you!" He slurred, throwing his arms up into the air.

"Oh my god!" He froze at the sight in front of him on the couch. Meredith and Derek jerked apart from one another, and she stood up from the couch.

"Dr. O'Malley, I suggest you go home. You're drunk."

"No. Meredith, I'm in love with you and I have been in love with you forever!" He wobbled a bit and nearly fell.

"Dr. O'Malley…" she warned. "As you can clearlysee, I am with someone!"

"I don't care that you're with Dr. Shepherd! I love you!"

Maredith rounded to the back of her desk and grabbed a trash bag, handing it to George. " Ido care. Now I'm not asking you to leave, I'm telling you: take your ass out of my office, and go throw up somewhere else."

She handed him the bag and Derek opened the door. "Okay. Let's go." He raised his eyebrows as George strolled out.

"Well that was...interesting."

"No, that was bad. Really bad. We have got to start locking my office door, Derek!"

"Well it's not like we were doing anything!"

"It was enough for him to put 2 and 2 together, and anybody else could have as well. But I'm not worried. I'm his boss. He won't say anything." I winked at Derek and smiled.

"Do you realize that it's mean to terrify your subordinates, Dr. Grey?"

"The thought has crossed my mind...then it left."

Derek reached forward, grabbed my by the waist and kissed me for a few seconds before leaning back with a grin.

"What was that for?"

"Meredith Grey, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met." "You know I hate it when you say crap like that!"

"Okay...how about….you're sexy when you're authoritative.".

"There we go. You and me both. God it's hot when you boss people around…"

"And...you said you're withme." He said smugly.

"Oh shut up. You know what I meant."

"Oh, I think I know exactly what you meant."

I shook my head and took a seat behind my computer.

"So...how am I doing about being your someone?"

"Good. Removing O'Malley from my office was a nice touch." "Yeah, him being assigned on my service will be fun…" "Derek…" I warned.

"I'm just kidding... mostly…"

"And O'Malley didn't make you jealous?"

"No, I'm not threatened by him. You're taken anyway." He smirked and kissed me passionately. "An impossible man, you are." He stood up from the couch, silencing his pager. "911." "Go save lives, Dr. Shepherd."

"You know you love me,"

He closed the door behind himself, and I turned my computer on for a second time, massaging my temples as I felt a headache coming on.

I didn't want to lie to him. I didn't go into this to intentionally keep something from him. But something about what I was doing felt...wrong and dishonest.

No, Derek certainly would not exactly be thrilled at the hospital's newest possible surgeon. Richard had recommended her to me before he left, but I knew I couldn't hire before I saw her work.

So, here I sat, on hold...waiting, yet not quite sure what I would say when the other line picked up.

Let alone what I'd tell Derek after the fact.

The line clicked, and someone answered. "New York-Presbyterian Hospital."

"Yes, This is Dr. Meredith Grey, the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital, I need to speak with your head of your head of OB/GYN."

"Yes ma'am, I'll transfer your call."

"Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd, how are you doing today?"

Sorry that this chapter was kinda short, but it's leading up to something big that's about to happen, obviously. AHHHHH! Because where would the world be without drama? :)


	15. Chapter 15

"Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd, how are you doing today?"

"I'm fine Chief. May I ask why you're calling?"

"Of course. There's been an opening for head of OB/GYN in my hospital, and you are my first choice."

"Wow. Thank you. That's an honor."

"Yes, Richard Webber mentioned you to me during our last meeting, and after doing some research on my own, I discovered that you'd be an excellent candidate to lead of department of Obstetrics and Gynecology."

"When would the position start?"

"Well, I can give you about two weeks to make your decision, but after that I have to find someone to cover the department. Should you accept, you would start on the Monday after the two weeks are up."

"Two weeks should be okay to make a decision, but as you know, I can't just pack up and leave my current practice. I may not lead the department here, but I still have my responsibilities as I'm sure you know."

"Of course. I completely understand."

"I am incredibly thankful for the offer, and I hope I will be able to take you up on that, Dr. Grey."

"Thank you. As do I, Doctor. I assume you will get back to me as soon as you come to a conclusion. You know where to find me."

"Thank you. Have a nice afternoon."

I set the phone in the cradle, and let out a breath I hadn't even known I had been holding.

I scrubbed out of surgery and slid my cap into the pocket of my scrubs, collapsing onto an on-call room bed. I let out a breath and shut my eyes, slowly realizing just how exhausted I really was.

But it wasn't the 14 hour brain surgeries, the night shifts, or even the constant stress that was exhausting...It was Meredith Grey.

More specifically, pretending to not be in love with Meredith Grey.

For the entire time we'd been...whatever we are, she'd made it extremely clear that we were pretty much just sex and a little bit of caring….from a distance. But that's not what I want anymore. That's not ever what I want with Meredith Grey. I thought I could do it...not love her. But against my wishes that was just not working. Not at all.

And yet I can't say a word, because she'd run. She'd run and never look back. And even if she left me, I couldn't let her leave the hospital, her career. Because I care. Because I love her and with every passing day I am more sure that I won't ever be able to say that to her face. Because, well...she'd be furious.

Derek will be furious when he finds out I've offered a job at Grace to his ex-wife. But I have to put mind over matter. It's what's best for the hospital and that has to be my main...and only concern.

That's what I have to tell myself.

But it's not the truth.

It can't be love, right? I can't let myself love someone. Because...that will ruin me. My career, and my life. But the closer I got to Derek Shepherd, the more it felt that I hadn't any control over the situation at all.

The truth is….well I guess Derek finally tought me how to care, and now….now I can't turn it off.

But I can't put a fling over my hospital. That is definitely true.

But scarier than anything is that this feels like anything but a fling.

And I have to try to control it.

I don't have a choice…...right?


	16. Chapter 16

1…..2….

The elevator rose slowly as I shut my eyes and tried to clear my head.

…..3

Ding.

The door opened and Derek walked onto the elevator, smiling as he noticed me in the corner.

"Hey Mer."

"Derek, I can't...I have to go." The doors opened, and I practically ran to my office, slamming the door and exhaling loudly.

"Derek, can we talk about this later? I have a lot to do right now."

"Meredith.."

"Doctor Shepherd…please."

"Okay…." he replied skeptically. I could hear the confusion in his voice.

He walked away, and all of the sudden, tears were burning at my eyes. And I didn't know If I really wasn't sure why, or if I knew exactly why, and I just couldn't admit it.

This was going to be bad. For him, it would come out of left field, but it needed to be done now, for the both of us.

Derek was already there when I walked into the trailer after my shift. He was sitting on the couch with a drink in his hand, but by the looks of things, he hadn't even had a sip.

I walked over to the couch and took a seat next to him and shut my eyes, not even taking off my coat.

"Mer, what's wrong?" He said tenderly

"Nothing I just...this is a bad idea."

"What do you mean?"

"Us. If there ever was an us. It needs to stop. To end and be over. Now. A clean break."

He frowned. "But it's not a clean break. It's a painful...messy break. Where the hell is this coming from?"

"Derek, please don't make this more difficult than it has to be."

"Tell me why. At least tell me why." His voice alone was already causing me physical pain. It sounded strained, like he was dying inside. And If I was being honest, I felt the same way, yet I couldn't say a word.

"Because...it's interfering with work. It's wrong and inappropriate. I just haven't been able to see it. I've been blinded by-"

"By what? You were going to say love, weren't you?"

"No, I…."

"You were. This whole time I've been trying to get you to just care about me, and then you start to think that maybe, just maybe you love me, so you force my out of your life. You hate the idea even more that someone in this world may love you for who you are. You can't push me away. I know you, Meredith."

"Derek...this is not your decision. I've already made the choice. We should keep things strictly professional and everything will be fine."

"No! Everything won't be fine, Meredith! Don't you see! As long as it's taken you to love me, I've loved you since the day we met. And I knew you'd run in the other direction if I told you. But I'm done being afraid. I'm done swallowing my feelings for you, I'm done not loving you."

I inhaled sharply.

(: I don't usually like song-fics, but this just seemed to fit here - You're All I Need To Get By by Marvin Gaye

You're all

I need

To get by

Ah-ah

Like sweet mornin' dew

I took one look at you

And it was plain to see,

You were my destiny

With arms open wide,

I threw away my pride

I sacrifice for you,

Dedicate my life to you…

"Derek." I whispered.

It was quiet, my voice was cracking, and it came out as more of a sob. Tears began streaming down my face against my wishes, and I leaned forward.

I will go where you lead

Always there in time of need

Oh baby now (use my will),

You will be there to push me up the hill

"Derek...I can't uh….I can't say...I haven't said I love you before. Ever. Not to anyone. Please...please don't leave. Just...I know I'm not the easiest person to love, just don't give up on me yet."

"Mer, calm down. When did I say anything about leaving? I"m not….that's not…" I could tell he was searching for what to say. "I know you're not at the point where you can say I love you. I know you're not the kind of person who likes big romantic gestures, and I know this kind of thing is terrifying to you. I told you, I know you."

I just smiled, because I had nothing at all to say.

There's no,

No looking back for us,

"That's why...do you know how worried I've been about this moment? I was scared that I would say all of..this, and then you'd walk out. So, I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend or move in, or do anything crazy...yet, I'm not even asking you to say I love you. I just want you to know that I love you, and I will be here when you are ready. Okay?"

We got love

Sure enough, That's enough...

You're all, You're all I need

To get by.

I wasn't crying, I couldn't let myself cry yet, but tears were welling up in my eyes. I stood up and grabbed his hand, pulling him onto the bed with me, and all I wanted was just to lay there.

"Just…" I began, tipping my head to the side, searching for words.

"What?"

"Just hold me. Let's just...be here."

He smiled, looking just about as happy as I'd ever seen him, and I couldn't help but smile too.

What had Derek Shepherd done to me? Me! The cold, distanced, uncaring Doctor who never batted an eye at loving anyone...That person is gone now...well she's leaving and now...there's someone else. She's okay too I guess.

"You...you've made me care, Derek."

"I know. I like it. Your caring side, I mean."

"I think I do too...it's something...just for us, for now."

"It's good."

"It is."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I woke up, laying here tangled in Derek's arms and with my back pressed against him, and I was completely... comfortable. We fell asleep just like this, and had never really said anything else. It was nice to just... be. And for the first time, I hadn't felt the need to run. Not from Derek, not from my own happiness, and not even from being in what was rapidly becoming a strong relationship. But if I told everyone...if we told everyone about us at the hospital, then it wouldn't just be us anymore. And...how am I supposed to tell Derek about Addison? His ex-wife coming to the hospital, possibly for a job...No, he is not going to take this well. I mean, we could really take a turn for the worse because of this. It's taken us so long for me to get to a place where I'm comfortable with this, and it's all about to end.

"Derek…" I whispered, turning to face him in the bed.

"Hey." He opened his eyes slowly, smiling as I leaned forward to kiss him for a few seconds.

"What was that for?" He asked groggily, grinning lopsidedly.

"Nothing. I just...nothing."

(this is an author's note: I'm going to try the story from George's perspective here, and if it flows okay then I might do some more parts with other perspectives...)

10 minutes. 10 minutes is what I have left until I am going to be killed by Dr. Shepherd. Murdered. Thrown to the sharks. I checked my watch again. 9 minutes now. I sighed rounded the corner, walking up to the desk where Izzie and the other residents were standing, waiting for the attendings to come by.

"Who are you with today?" She asked, flipping through a patient's chart.

"Uhm...Dr. Shepherd." I said quickly, looking at my watch again. 7 minutes.

"Well, that shouldn't be too bad. He's pretty nice." Izzie tipped her head to the side, trying to read my expression. "No...okay...that is bad?"

"Well, I don't know Izzie, ever since I saw him with…" I let my voice trail off, deciding outing him and the Chief was not going to be my smartest move.

"With who?"

"Oh, with….Dr….Bailey. He and Bailey got into a fight...about that patient from 202."

"The chronic hemorrhoid guy? I thought he was intern scut..."

"Well..uh, Izzie I don't know! It's not like I'm an attending mind reader!"

"Oh….sorry…" Her eyebrows furrowed, and I guess she walked off to go find her attending.

Wow. Smooth, George.

"O'Malley! Let's go." Shepherd strolled up to the nurses station. "Those CT's aren't going to examine themselves."

Of course. Leave it to him to be early.

We walked into an empty exam room, and he slipped the scan onto the light board.

"Uh...Dr. Shepherd, I'm sorry about uhh…"

"O'Malley, let's not rehash…"

"Well, but I really shouldn't have...confessed my love for Meredith...I...I mean Dr. Grey...when I uh...walked in on you two...and then before, at the bar.."

"Okay, okay, I think we don't need to go through it all again, Dr. O'Malley, I was there."

"Oh."

"Let's just look at the CT." He said firmly, crossing the room to shut the door.

"I assume Meredith has already given you the speech?" He asked. I couldn't tell whether he was uncomfortable or mad. I'm gonna go with mad.

"Speech?"

"No. Okay...don't ever tell anyone about us, or she'll make your life hell. Got it."

"Oh yes. Yes sir. I've definitely got it. No talking about you and Meredith sleeping together."

He cringed, but said, "Agreed."

We waited in silence for awhile, but eventually my curiosity got the best of me.

"So... Dr. Grey..Is she happy?"

"O'Malley!"

"Sorry...sorry."

I cringed as he shook his head slowly.

Why...why did I have to say that?

"Patricia!" I yelled from my office. "I'm trying to get some work done, could you please get the

phone?"

"S...sorry Dr. Grey."

"It's alright."

I cast my eyes back on the large stack of post-op records I had left to sign, and frowned. The

last four maternity patients had miscarried, and that was not Seattle Grace's usual outcome.

I smiled again though when I came across each of the doctors' mortally rates, and noticed that Derek's was a 4.7%. That was good. Like good good.

I walked out of my office, needing to approve the attendings' resident assignments, and the OR schedules before the first surgery.

I picked up the file from the main nurses station, and glanced over the first page…

Bailey: Stephens

Karev: Wilson

Shepherd: O'Malley…

Oh no.

"Debby, have you seen Dr. Shepherd today?"

"He's in exam 3, should I page him here?"

"No that's okay.." I said quietly, walking in the direction in which she had pointed.

The door to exam three was open, and Derek and George were looking at a CT scan.

"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. O'Malley…"

"Oh...hello, Chief Grey, Ma'am…" George began, looking scared.

Derek smirked, and I made a mental note to ask him what the hell is going on later.

"Oh, Dr. Shepherd, I just wanted to let you know- your mortality rate is the lowest of the attendings since last year...that's great."

"Ok, thank you. Actually, can you let me know your opinion on this tumor? It's pretty much covers the frontal lobe...it's huge…"

"Oh...Jesus." I studied the black ink and raised my eyebrows.

"Uhm...Chief…" O'Malley began skeptically.

"Yes?" I said, raising my eyebrows.

"You uh...I'm sorry about…"

"O'Malley, let's not. Do you really think this is wise?"

"Oh, no Ma'am."

"Good." I shut the door. "And, next time you come parading into my office, please do so soberly. Also- confessing your love for me is definitely not work-appropriate behavior, Dr. O'Malley."

"Definitely not. I am...so sorry about that I don't know what…."

"Let's move on. Just...never do that again." I walked to the door, and let it close behind me.

Whatever Derek chooses to say is his choice now. I smirked, thinking about how uncomfortableDerek was probably making the situation, and walked back into the exam room.

"Derek, how old is the patient?"

"52 year old male. Why?"

"It's not a tumor. It's enlarged hyperplasia." I winked secretively, and walked away.

—

I was back at work again in my office, when the phone rang for what felt like the 100th time today.

"Patricia!"

"Yes ma'am?"

"The phone!"

"Oh...um...it's Dr. Montgomery. She's calling to speak with you."

I quickly reached across the desk to grab the phone, and motioned to Patricia asking for her to shut the door.

"Dr. Montgomery."

"Hello, Chief! Or should I say, boss?"

"You're taking the job?"

"I am."

"Good. I appreciate that."

"I notified the hospital about leaving yesterday. When do I start at Grace?"

"Monday."

"Perfect."

"Alright. I'll see you next week, Doctor."

"Goodbye."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

So I'm at a crossroads about what to do. Actually...no I'm not. I have to tell Derek. I have to. If he doesn't hear it from me...well even if he does….oh God. Quite the hole I've gotten myself into.

And to make matters worse, we were going to the trailer tonight, and I don't have a choice. I can't not tell him, right?

"Mer? Hello?" Of course at this exact moment, he was standing right in front of me.

"Oh, yep hey…"

"Where were you just then?"

"Oh it's...I just have quite a bit on my mind...you know? Chief crap?"

Shit.

"Meredith. What the hell has been going on with you? You've been somewhere else all week…"

"You...uh...you're right. I have to talk to you."

"Mer? You're scaring the shit out of me. What's going on?"

"Derek…"

"Oh my god, are you pregnant?"

"Derek Shepherd!"

"What?! It's a valid question!"

"No! It's not. I would be acting a lot more worried and panicked than this if that was the case."

"So you admit it. That you're worried and panicked?"

"Derek, don't twist my words."

"I'm not twisting your words, I just would like to know what's going on at the moment!"

"Just, let's go to my house and talk. Not here, in my office," I walked behind my desk to slip some files into a folder in my briefcase, and tuck my chair into the desk.

We walked out the back and crossed the parking lot to my car. We both got in silently, and I started what felt like the longest possible drive to my house.

I could understand why I wanted to be silent. I was about to tell Derek that I might hire his ex-wife at Seattle Grace. I was about to subject myself to a good chance of ruining everything we'd just built.

But, why Derek was silent, now that was not only confusing, but also terrifying. His being silent could not be a good sign at all.

He reached for my hand, which was lying on the gear shift. But I couldn't help jerking away out of...I don't know...anticipation? Fear?

"Meredith?" He looked at me with pure question in his eyes.

"Just uh...let's get to my house, okay?"

He just turned to face the window, and sighed quietly.

Why I had let this moment build in such a dramatic way was a question I didn't currently have the answer to.

I looked over at Derek, who quickly opened the door and walked to the house without a word.

"Okay, so I'm just going to get right to the point...the hospital needs a new OB/GYN, and I hired Addison Montgomery."

"You...you hired my ex-wife?!"

"I did. Please don't be upset…"

"Well that's uh...that's a little hard, Meredith, I mean how...did you even think about me...about us when you made this decision?"

"Of course I did! Did you not think it was hard for me to make that decision?! To choose between the person I love and my career?"

"Well apparently you chose your career!"

"No, that's not what I mean. You know that's not what I mean."

"..Meredith, you don't understand what this means. How this complicates everything."

"No, you don't understand that I have to make decisions as the head of this hospital. I thought you understood- I can't just ignore that, Derek!"

"I do understand. Of course I understand." He lowered his voice. "It's just so painful to love you the way I do when there are all these...complications. Just please, for the sake of us. Don't do this."

"Derek...I...you're asking me to…I can't do that. We have to have faith that we can survive this."

"Meredith-" His voice was startlingly quiet. "If you do this...If you do this, then that is it for us."

He stood up from the couch and walked silently out the door.

"What the hell, Derek?!" I shouted from the open doorway.

"Don't do this, Meredith." He ducked into his car, and before I realized, I was watching it disappear right in front of me.

And so I stood, arms crossed in front of my chest, my default neat persona replaced by a disheveled mess. My head tilted slightly to the side, I was left to wonder- How the hell did we get like this?


	19. Chapter 19

TV Shows » Grey's Anatomy » Not Just the Girl in the Bar  
Author: PrettyLittleGilmoreGirls   
Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Reviews: 47 - Published: 02-04-18 - Updated: 08-06-18 id:12824332  
My nails clicked absentmindedly against the polished oak wood of my desk as I stared across the room at nothing in particular.

I'm sure if I were to look in the mirror, I would still see the same broken mess staring back at me, dark circles under my eyes, and mascara smeared across my cheeks.

I took a sip of the coffee, only to find that it was spoiled. Perfect. I sighed, and walked from my office quickly to the bathroom, locking the door and shuffling over to the sinks.

There she was. The pathetic mess I had just imagined, staring right back at me. I splashed cold water over my face, wiped away makeup stains with a paper towel, finally tying my hair into a loose ponytail.

"Patricia!" I walked past my assistant's desk and into my office. "Send Dr. Shepherd into my office." I shouted, sinking into my desk chair.

I raked my fingers through my hair and took a breath.

If he wants to play it this way, then we'll play it this way.

"Chief. You needed to speak to me." Derek muttered in a monotone voice.

"Oh, so now you're pulling the respectful shit, Derek? What the hell?"

"Well you're my boss. You keep reminding me of that every few minutes, so I guess I have to be respectful right?"

"Derek…please don't…"

"You don't...you can't understand this."

"Oh, so now I'm ignorant, Derek? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I told you, Meredith. I need time! Please, God...just give me a couple days."

"Well you know what, we don't have a couple of days, because she gets here tomorrow. You think I act like only your boss? This is me being only your boss. So Dr. Shepherd, I suggest you prepare yourself."

"What the hell do you mean, tomorrow?"

"Well, I know you went to medical school, so you aren't stupid." I retorted. "Therefore I assume you understand that when I say tomorrow, I mean the day that is twenty-four hours from now. Doctor Addison Montgomery is arriving at this hospital tomorrow."

"Stop being a smartass, Meredith."

"See, those aren't the kind of things you can say to your boss. And I'm so sorry, Doctor Shepherd, that my being your boss is so inconvenient for you. I'm sorry that you can't control everyone and everything in this hospital. But yet, that is not my problem, because it seems that you're my employee and only my employee right now. You gave me a fucking ultimatum, Derek, and now I am telling you. Get the hell out of my office."

"Fine."

I don't understand. What the hell is wrong with him? Does he think that he'll want to be with Addison if she comes back? Does he still love her?

"Damnit!" I yelled, kicking over my small trash can. This is the exact mopey, sad, and weak woman that I was trying everything not to be reduced to. The kind of woman whose only purpose in life is to be a wife, and who can't stand to fight with or be away from her husband. And that's not me, but right now, it felt pretty damn close.

My desk phone started to ring, and my first thought was, who the hell would call me at two in the morning, but that was replaced with, who in the hell would stay at work until two in the morning, either?

I propped the phone against my shoulder. "Hello?"

"Yes, Chief, this is the nurses desk on the trauma floor- it's a code orange, Ma'am."

"Shit!" I snapped, dropping the phone into the cradle and snatching my lab coat from the hanger.

"Shit, shit, shit…" I tied my hair into a bun on the top of my head and pulled on some gloves while a trauma nurse gowned me.

"Chief...what's a code orange?" April asked, running up to my side.

"We're overcrowded and understaffed." I continued down the hallway, Kepler still following close behind. "Hello?! You're a trauma surgeon. Go!"

Something in her eyes looked frantic, and then she sprinted off in the opposite direction.

Somebody find Doctor Hunt and get him down here now!" I shouted, dodging a swarm of gurneys and other surgeons.

"Chief, we've got a problem…" Bailey ran up to my side. "Robbins is out sick, so the entire peds floor is being run by Karev, and one surgeon can't handle so many cases."

"Damnit!" I mumbled. "How's our peds capacity?"

"Nearly full…"

Just then, the sliding doors opened, and someone sprinted in from the trauma bay.

"I got here as fast as I could. I know I don't start until tomorrow, but I saw the news and figured you'd need an extra pair of hands." Addison Montgomery said quickly, already being gowned by a nurse.

"Dr. Montgomery...you're here. Today." I said, stunned by the fact itself.

"Yes. I am. Where do you want me?"

"Thank god. Bailey, fill Dr. Montgomery in on the peds cases with the urgency protocol."

"Okay." She and Addison sprinted off to the stairwell. I stayed put for a few moments, merely overwhelmed with my surroundings.


	20. Chapter 20

(Immediately following last chapter) I had almost gotten the code orange situation under control, but Derek was nowhere to be found. Not that I cared for personal reasons. I needed Derek Shepherd, the neurosurgeon to handle the overflow of patients.

"Hi, you've reached Doctor Derek Shepherd, and I can't come to the phone right now. If your situation is urgent, please hang up and dial 911. If it is a non urgent case, please leave a message at the tone."

"Dammit, Derek, where the hell are you?" I shouted into the receiver. "You have patients. Urgent ones. So get your ass down here now and do your job!"

I dropped the phone carelessly and strolled up to the nurses desk. "Does anyone know where Dr. Shepherd is?"

"Uhm...ma'am….he took a sick day. He left about two hours ago with...I think he had a fever."

"Oh, I don't think so." I muttered to myself "Have Doctor Bailey cover my next surgery. I'll be back in an hour."

I stormed out into the parking lot, noticing that Derek's car really was gone. I slammed the door behind me and started the ignition.

Derek's POV

(2 hours earlier- 1:19 a.m.)

Trauma bay. That was where I was currently headed, with my mind racing with thoughts of the CT scans I had just observed. A acute rupture in the cerebellum with a 2 week old patient.

Admittedly, a difficult case, but not something I couldn't handle.

My thoughts fell out of my mind and I stopped in my tracks, feeling a deep wave of nausea.

"Addison." I stated. It came out like a whisper

"Derek." Her voice was decisive as she reached for me, but I jerked my arm away and scowled. What the hell are you doing here? You weren't supposed to come here until tomorrow."

"I came early to help.."

"Don't touch me." I snapped, and turned on my heel to walk in the other direction.

Have Dr. Blake cover my surgeries today, I'm running a high fever." I muttered to an intern passing by on the way out. "Yes sir."

I sped down the road, only a few minutes from the trailer. I knew Addison would be here tomorrow, but I still wasn't prepared. How could I be prepared after what she did to me? After what happened in our relationship?

I stepped out of the car, welcomed by surrounding darkness and the sound of silence in the air.

Meredith's POV

"Derek Shepherd! Addison gets here, and you just run? I know you're mad, but you have a job to do!" I shouted towards the trailer and slammed the car door, taking my first few steps across the grass.

"Meredith? What are you doing?" Damn. He looks rough.

"Coming to get you. Obviously you aren't running a 'high fever.' You're not a coward Derek, so why would you just run like that?"

"You don't understand. You don't know Addison. You don't know what happened."

"Then fucking tell me for god's sake!" I stormed towards where he was sitting on the trailer's porch, but before I could get there, the heel of my shoe snapped and I collapsed onto the grass. "Dammit!"

"Did you just break your ankle? Let me look at it."

"No. stop. I'm...fine." I tried to push myself up, but as soon as I tried, I collapsed again.

"Meredith. Be still." He looked at my ankle again and frowned. "It's swollen and displaced. You and I both know it's broken. Come here."

I frowned, but gave up on trying to convince him that I was alright any longer. He lowered me into the passenger seat of his car and pulled out into the street.

"Derek, we can't go to Seattle Grace. Everyone will know."

"That's the point. I'm done hiding. Let's tell everyone today."

"Are you crazy! Do you know what would happen?"

"Nothing! Nothing would happen. Your mother's gone, no one is going to care. But if you don't want to do this, then we won't. I know we're fighting, but I love you. I am not going to stop loving you."

"What about Addison?"

"What about her?"

"Do you still love her?"

"No. Not any more."

"You're sure?"

He leaned forward and gently pulled me to him but kissed me deeply, and I completely gave in. I don't know how I had resisted this for so long. My breathing was heavy and deep, and for a few minutes, I completely let myself go again. I relied on him completely. Let down my walls and let go of my independence.

"Clothes off now."

"Mer, we are not having sex in a car, in the middle of the street, when you have an unbraced broken ankle!"

I huffed in frustration and sat back in my seat as he laughed quietly.

"I missed you." He said quietly.

I couldn't help but smile, feeling our old, familiar comfort coming back. I still didn't understand how I could have been okay for so long without it.

"Say it, Mer. You know you did."

"I...might have…uh….missedyoutoo."

"Ha."

"Oh, shut up."

"Mer?"

"What?"

"We're here. Are you sure you're okay doing this?"

"I...I am. I am going to be the one to take the first step this time. I'm sure."

"Okay. Let's do it."


	21. Chapter 21

Derek's POV

"Okay. I'm going to go in and get you a wheelchair."

"No you are not! I can, I'll be fine."

"Meredith. It's me. Put your guard down and let me help you."

She didn't say a word, but nodded subtly to the door.

When I came back, she was sitting up in the seat with the door open.

"Okay. 1...2...3.." I lifted her into the chair, and I noticed her wince a little.

"Okay. Here we go….No turning back beyond this point…"

"Just go in already!" She shouted jokingly.

I tried my best to go slow over the bump in the doorway before we rolled up to the desk. The receptionist knitted her eyebrows together in confusion for a moment and then her expression sobered.

"Oh uh...Hi, Dr. Shepherd...and Chief Grey Ma'am. What can I-"

"I have a broken ankle. Page Torres to any empty trauma room." She ordered.

"Yes Ma'am." A nurse picked up the phone as I steered the wheelchair into the elevator.

"How's the pain?" I asked, resting my hand gently on her shoulder.

"It's...it hurts a little. And it's swollen. But I'm okay." I nodded and tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her ears.

"You know, as a medical professional, you should remember all the types of injuries caused by walking through grass in high heels, Dr. Grey…that was not really one of your more logical moments…"

"Well as my boyfriend, and my employee, you should know that I'm not going to act very logical at all when a little confrontation scares you out of my hospital and all the way out to the trailer."

"I...I'm not ready, Meredith. I'm not ready to forgive her yet…"

"You don't have to forgive Addison until you're ready. And I can't help you until you tell me specifically whatyou aren't ready do forgive her for."

"I will. But it's obviously not the time or place."

"Okay. I'm here, and I'm ready to listen when you're ready to talk. I could be a lot nicer about it if these idiots could find me some damn pain medications!"

We're on our way...but...you know, we're in an elevator." I leaned down to gently kiss her neck.

She arched her back to look at me.

"Mmm...you're sexually harassing me, Dr. Shepherd.."

"Then make me stop." I retorted. She shifted so our faces were almost touching, and pressed our lips together.

"Oh...I...Can't. Don't stop."

"How's the pain now?"

"Hmmm…I think it's better. God I want to do so many things to you right now." She mumbled. I spun the wheelchair around to face me, and slipped one hand quickly under her wrinkled scrub top.

"Oh...stop! You think this is funny!" She scowled and slapped my hand away jokingly just as the doors opened.

Callie was standing a few feet away talking to Arizona by the trauma room. They seemed to be the only attendings that weren't completely terrified of Mer. Oh, and maybe Karev. Arizona walked away with some paperwork just as Callie looked up.

"Chief? What the hell happened to you?"

"I Uh…" she looked back at me for a second, but I only smiled. "I fell."

I wheeled Meredith into the trauma room and shut the door, helping her onto the bed.

"So...where exactly did you fall?" Callie asked, gathering

"Well it was on a hill...in the grass…"

"And Derek was with you?"

"Well Yes. And that's….that's another thing…" She trailed off, and for a moment I was sure she

was backing down. Then, she looked back up at Callie, sign confidence in her smile. We're together." She stated matter of factly and then cringed waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. She just grabbed a tray with and some gloves from the counter.

"Right, and the nurse said the heel of your shoe snapped and that's how you fell?"

"Yes…" she said uneasily. We were both surprised by Callie's anticlimactic reaction.

Callie gently pinched around the middle of her ankle and frowned. "Okay, Dr. Grey. There's some major swelling around the base of your tibia, which means there's blood in the joints. Before I realign the bones, I'm going to aspirate the main swollen joint here, so…" she trailed off.

I spoke next. "Callie, did you...know about our relationship?"

"For weeks. Are you kidding me?" You two were terrible at hiding it…" she smiled as she washed her hands and slipped on the gloves.

My jaw dropped, and my glance shifted to Meredith, who looked like she was about to pass out.

"What?!" She screeched before lowering her voice. "What?"

I placed my hand on her shoulder gently and whispered, "Who knows?"

"Wait, you didn't know we knew?" She asked, chucking.

"Well…No!" Mer replied, completely shocked. "Who knows, Torres?!" She asked again.

" Uh..Kepner, Yang, Karev...uh...Avery...and a few of the interns. Oh...and most of the nurses….I think that's it."

"That's it?!" We both shouted, and then went silent.

"Uh.." Callie froze.

Suddenly, Meredith started laughing. Not like she heard a joke or something, but like she had completely gone insane.

"Meredith...are you okay?"

"No….I..I mean yes….it's just…whew." She took a big breath and smiled. "It's like this big

cosmic joke. We've...we've been stressing over anyone finding out for months...and...and everyone knows!"

"Yeah...I uh...heard. Are you sure you're okay?" I was already way past concerned at her reaction.

"Honestly." Her laughing stopped and she sobered up to reveal a serious face. "I'm fine. I'm great! I didn't have to be the one to tell everyone, and we can be normal now. Derek, we can be us!"

"Okay...well let's get your ankle fixed. I glanced up at Callie as she wheeled over the IV tower to Insert the needle and push pain meds. "Chief, I'm...I'm glad you feel comfortable." Callie said after a minute.

"I don't know if I feel comfortable yet...but I'm getting there. Um..Thank you, Torres."

Meredith's face softened, but a smile lingered on her lips, and she gripped my hand loosely. "Okay." Her voice was completely calm. "Okay." I repeated kissing her forehead and sitting beside her on the gurney.

"You guys are adorable." Callie admired.

"Oh. Be careful. She would kill you if she weren't on meds right now." I grinned at the thought.

"Okay, Meredith. Can I call you Meredith?" Callie asked with raised eyebrows.

"Mmm...sure.." she slurred.

"I'm inserting the needle now...and the fluid is about…..Halfway drained." My eyes were trained

on her ankle and her hand was tightly gripping mine. "All done with that, and the swelling's almost all gone."

"Oh….okay…"

"Alright. Meredith, here we go. I have to set and realign the bones in your ankle now, but Derek is going to talk to you, and everything is going to be okay. Right Derek?" I raised my eyebrows purposefully and smiled.

"Right, exactly. Meredith, you are so brave and so strong. You can do this. You can do this. Be strong for me okay? It's almost-"

"OWWWWW OH GOD OH SHIT THAT HURT! Ahhhh…."

"It's done! We're done." Callie said, cleaning the wound and wrapping her ankle with gauze. "Okay, now we're going to get you into a wheelchair and roll you down to x-ray. You did great!"

I easily slipped my hands behind her back to put her in the wheelchair, but her grasp around my neck tightened.

"Der...it hurts…" she whined, and dropped her head against my chest.

"Mer, I'm going to put you in the chair now, okay? Just be still."

"NOOooo!" She wailed. "Derek, don't let go!" I frowned.

"Do you want me to help her into the chair?" Callie asked, obviously amused.

"No. I'll just carry her. X-Ray is just around the corner."

"Well this should be interesting." Callie's eyebrows shot up, but that was all she said.

I tried my best to be discreet on my way there, with no avail. Nurses, Patients, and a few interns stopped what they were doing to turn and look in our direction. I guess the Chief of Surgery being carried down the hallway by her neurosurgeon boyfriend was a sight they didn't see every day.

We entered the dimly lit room, and I helped a technician strap Meredith into a lead vest before retreating behind the glass.

"How is it?" I asked cautiously, studying Callie's expression.

"It looks aligned at this point, but we're going to need to splint her ankle for 3 weeks to a month. I'm going to prescribe Valium for the first few days. You know the drill, so I can stop talking to you now." She shifted her gaze from me to Mer.

"I'm going to page an intern to take her to a patient room now, and I guess she'll stay here for some of the recovery, so it will be easier to check up on her." Callie said simply.

I shut the door quietly once the intern left, and noticed Meredith was already asleep soundly. "Mer…" I whispered. "You did great in there." I kissed her gently before standing up to grab a gown from the closet and tie it behind her back. "I love you so much. I will be back as soon as I can, but I have to get back to work now."

"Okay.." she said hoarsely. "I love you." I kissed her on the forehead and returned. The gesture. They knew. Everyone. Knew. Normally, that would send both she and I into a tailspin, but not

today. I think honestly that she was just happy she didn't have to explain everything. That made sense. I am just happy that she and I can be normal now. We can be us.


	22. Chapter 22

"Ugh...Derek, help me."

"I'm coming. Don't move. Hang on." I let out a chuckle "Be still!" Meredith had somehow wrapped herself around her IV and the alarm was going off.

She moaned and knitted her eyebrows together angrily.

"Did Meredith Grey just say help me?" I asked, laughing again.

"Shut up. You know. you said I'm supposed to let you help me or some crap, so here I am, letting you help, and you're laughing?"

"Okay, okay. Sorry. And thank you. Really." I kissed the top of her head and laid back against the pillows.

"You know…" Mer started giggling. Apparently the meds have set in again. "You...have really good hair."

"Meredith. You're loopy." I smiled.

"I'm not loooopy! I just think you have really nice hair, and your face…I really, really love your face."

I gave up and smiled, pulling her closer into a deep kiss. I felt her pulling at the hem of my scrub top, but the door was still halfway open. "Meredith, the door...isn't even...shut."

"I know. I don't care. Let's have sex."

"You're crazy, you know?" I asked, relaxing. "You know, there are residents right outside that door...they should rounding soon…"

"But…I don't care…" She whined

I shook my head, but listened attentively to the whispers outside the door. "The Chief is in there...I'm not going in...fine, you wanna be the one to get your head bit off then….no she's with Shepherd. "Yeah, I know. Everyone knows she's with Shepherd." "No, you idiot, with Shepherd." "Oh..uh...I don't really.." "Well I don't want to walk in on them!" One shouted. "Oh, move out of the way you fools! I'm going in." DeLuca's voice declared. I couldn't help but let out a snort at their reluctance, and slide back slightly from Meredith when I heard one of the interns clear their throats loudly and knock on the already open door.

"Um...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Ma'am…uh...Chief Grey…."

"What Is it?" She said, in a less harsh tone than I had expected.

"Um...okay...we need to check your vitals." Wilson replied.

"But what do you need to do before you present, Wilson?" I asked. They were on Callie's service today, but she was out of the room.

"I...I need to present." She said with some confidence.

"Okay. Go!" Mer shouted and started laughing again.

"Meredith Grey. Female, 31 years old...presents with a fracture in the lower fibula, and a full break in her lower tibia. 8 mg of Diazepam administered upon check in, and continual doses every 4 hours. Small doses of Acetaminophen as needed…that's it."

"Great job." Meredith chimed in uncharacteristically.

"You're forgetting one other medication Wilson…" I countered, smiling.

"Oh, and 2 mg of dilaudid administered twice over a 24 hour period….which seems to be doing its job…" She observed.

"Okay, Chief. How's your pain? Can you rate it out of 10, 1 being the best and-"

"I know how to do this, Wilson. I'm not an idiot. It's a 4. Maybe a 3 since Derek is here…" She replied flirtily. I cringed. She will regret this once she's off the meds.

"Uhm...okay…" Wilson replied with uncertainty. "And what about when you stand up?"

"Maybe a 6...at its worst."

"That's great. Okay, I'm just going to flush your IV with some saline, and I will see you for evening rounds Ma'am."

"Okay." She replied plainly.

"Mer, do you want to maybe walk around a bit?" I asked once they had left.

"Yes. Thank god. I'm going to die if I don't get out of this bed…" She slipped her arm around my shoulder allowing me to help her into the wheelchair.

"Okay…" I made a left turn towards the pit, knowing the excitement would cheer her up. One of the new interns whose name I was unsure of, stood at a patient's bedside, digging an IV needle in her arm Meredith scowled.

"Uh, who are you?" She snapped at the young man.

"I..I..I'm Doctor Smithson. I uh...I'm an intern, Chief...Ma'am…" He said meekly.

"Yeah okay, and what are you doing? Go away. You're hurting that little girl. Go study."

"I'm sorry ma'am." Meredith addressed the girl's mom. "I'll get you someone else."

"Idiots." She muttered, waving over a nurse from phlebotomy. I smiled. Mer is back. She rolled the wheelchair away, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Where are you going?"

"I...am calling a meeting with the attendings. I need to work..please, Derek?" I was not used to her asking me for things, and it was a big step for her.

"Sure. Just be careful. Let me help." She nodded, typing into her pager.

Meredith's POV

After everyone was here, Derek shut the door and rolled me to the front of the room. Everyone looked up expectantly, including Addison, who sent us both a confused glance. She probably didn't know about Derek and I yet...Shit. I made a mental note to have a talk with her later, and brushed it off.

"Okay. As you all know, the NMCC conference is in three days, and everything is still going as planned. I'm going to have to be in the wheelchair for the conference, but that shouldn't change anything." I paused, feeling a bit nauseous. "And...as far as my relationship with Dr. Shepherd goes, because I know that's what you're all concerned about at the moment,"

I could tell Derek was surprised by my statement.

"It has not affected work so far, and it will not in the future. I think that's all."

He smiled at me from within the audience, and we both glanced at Callie who was practically beaming. She gave a small nod, and filed out of the room within everyone else.

"Conference room sex?" I offered, smiling coyly when everyone had left.

"Mer…" He said cautiously, but he couldn't help laughing.

"Since when does Derek Shepherd turn down sex?" I grinned and pulled my scrub top over my head.

"You think this is me turning down sex?" He threw his shirt behind him and I smiled when I noticed the bulge in his pants. "I don't think so." He locked the door and walked swiftly back over to the table.

"You know, if you aren't into this anymore, then I guess your sexy boss will have to find someone else to meet her needs." I walked to the other side of the table seductively, and shifted my weight onto the table.

"I don't think there will be any need for that." He replied assuredly.

"You have to show me that you're still committed, Dr. Shepherd…"

I nearly let out a squeal as he quickly lifted me into the table. "I need to know that you're all in." I whispered into his ear, tortured by the slow speed at which he slipped my panties down my legs to fall to the floor.

I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled his body against mine, needing to feel him inside me again, and when I did, it was all I could feel. He was slowly, deeply kissing my neck, my stomach, then he unclipped my bra and tossed it behind him.

"I'm all in." He admitted honestly.

"Oh..you are.." I moaned, feeling myself get tighter around him. "God I missed this."

"Not as much as I did." You are so...I don't even know how to-"

"Stop...talking and...fuck me…"

My fingers ran slowly through his hair, and I slowly leaned back until I was lying completely flat against the table. "Oh...my god….ohhhh…" it was all I could do not to scream as my body clenched violently as we both released and collapsed against each other.

"You are one sexy woman, Meredith Grey." he admitted quietly while our breathing slowed.

"Ha...well it takes one to know one…" I suddenly burst into laughter.

"Did you just call me a woman?" He gasped jokingly. "You and I both know I am not a woman. I can prove it to you again, right now if you want…"

"Oh, I know you're a man, a very, very sexy man who always seems to occupy my thoughts. It's very hard to get any work done around here.."

"We have plenty of time to get work done. You and I just had a umm...a consult…and tonight we can have a nice long…. business meeting. Hell, we're working overtime!"

I laughed again while he stood up to gather our clothes.

"So you're okay with me staying at your house tonight?" He asked carefully.

I clipped my bra behind my back and stepped into my panties. "Of course. You...you can stop feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around me, Derek. I know you...probably had your reasons for all that...resentment about Addison. You have a past that I don't know about, and so do I."

"I'm afraid you'll get scared and run like you did in the beginning…" he blurted. "I'm worried you'll get tired of fighting your instincts and leave me."

"Derek, I'm not fighting my instincts. I want to be here with you. I want you. I do not want to run. Why do you think I made my announcement today? Someone who wants to run would not do that." I explained. "Just...don't start filling my head with marriage and babies or anything yet, okay?"

"Yet?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Look I'm just...I wasn't raised in a stable home. That's something you do know about my past...sort of. So I see things like...relationships...and they scare me. I don't know how to feel comfortable with commitment."

"I understand. Tonight, let's talk about what you are comfortable with at this point. We can work through this. And I have issues of my own too. I know it's hard to believe, but I do." He joked.

"You do...your ego!"

"I think we should talk more about this tonight." He laughed and finished getting dressed. "I'll be in the lobby at 7. Does that work for you?"

"Sounds good. And...thank you, Derek."

His smile was a 'your welcome', a kiss, and a 'thank you' all in one, just before we both went our separate ways with smiles covering our faces.


	23. Chapter 23

"Ordering Chinese may be one of the better ideas you've had in a while…" I smiled trying to hold a bite of lo mein in my chopsticks.

"One of my better ideas? Are you sure about that? That's pretty sad."

"I know. It is sad. But somehow you're this amazing brain surgeon…"

"Well, I just like my Chinese food!"

"I love talking to you. Joking around, just generally being happy. And the thing is, we have a lot of things to talk about tonight that would normally scare me. But they don't anymore." I admitted happily.

"I'd like to think that's because of me." he smiled.

"I know it's because of you. Because you taught me how to care." I smiled warmly, remembering our agreement that felt like forever ago.

"I cannot believe we're here…" He said, speaking my mind.

He continued. "About six months ago, I was just a guy who had been divorced for a year and then came across this girl in a bar. And she took my breath away, and then...that woman is my boss. That woman is you. I was sure in the beginning that I had absolutely no chance with you, and I never would've thought that we could be here one day."

"Wow. That was totally out of the blue. And that is one of the many reasons why I love you, Derek. And every time I said it before, we were either in a fight," I chuckled. "-or I was on pain meds. This time, I stand...or sit before you, truly meaning it. I love you, and I'm inlove with you."

"You love me." He repeated, his eyes glassy.

"I do." I nodded.

"And you're in love with me…"

"I am."

"I told you I would wait until you were ready...and now you're ready. And you love me."

"I'm ready. And I love you. That too. This is a lot of progress for me, and I don't feel scared or rushed. I feel safe, and I feel sure of this…"

"Six months ago, never would've thought we'd be here one day."

"I definitely didn't either. I would run the other way at the thought of love. Now I'm...in it. But honestly...I'm still a little scared. I mean you were so mad when you found out about Addison…and I understand, but I still don't know what to think about the whole situation."

"I was mad, but why didn't you tell me earlier?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"I...was scared that you'd run back to her, or that you would leave." My voice cracked.

"Oh Mer, she's my ex-wife for a reason. There was a time that I loved her, but that was a long time ago. So much has happened...she's done so much to me, and I stopped loving her a long time ago."

"What...did she do?"

He paused and looked away for a second. "Derek. You can tell me. We have to be able to talk about everything...but if.."

He hesitated. "She cheated on me with my best friend." His eyes couldn't seem to meet mine.

"Wait, what the hell...are you kidding me?!" I could barely catch my breath from the shock of his words.

"She cheated on me with Mark Sloan."

"Wha...I don't…" I wasn't sure what I was trying to say, but I was silent when he continued.

"Our marriage was dying. We worked on different sides of the hospital, and we lead separate lives. When she cheated, I was shocked, but not surprised. I forgave Mark because he came to me. He apologized, over and over, and he showed me that he wanted his best friend back. That he was truly remorseful of what they had done. We fixed our relationship, but Addison just...disappeared."

"Derek...that's why you didn't want her to come to Seattle Grace. Damnit...I should nothave hired her without talking to you first…I'm so sorry…"

"You couldn't have known. You were doing your job, and you were right. At work you have to consider the hospital first. You have nothing to be sorry whole reason that you and I

ever fight is when we don't tell each other things. So we have to promise to be honest with each other if we're going to be in this.." He admitted "But I also know there are just some work related things that you can't ethically tell me…" He trailed off.

"Look at me. Right now I am not your boss. You are not my employee. We have to be able to tell each other everything. We can't always be completely professional, and sometimes we will have to put our relationship first."

"Okay."

"Girlfriend."

"What?" He asked.

"I said girlfriend. If we're in love with each other, then that makes me your girlfriend. And you're my boyfriend."

"Only if you're okay with that." I could tell he was nervous.

"I'm okay with that. I want that. No more men flirting with your sexy, sexy boss, I bet you like that part." I smirked.

"Are you kidding me? I fucking love that part."

"Derek I have to tell you something." I said, letting out a giggle.

"Oh no." He replied with a smirk. "This can't be good."

"No, it's great. You'll be very happy."

"Okay, tell me."

"Well we have to be in my bedroom first.." I grinned and reached for him to help me up the stairs.

I unbuttoned the last few buttons of my shirt to reveal a deep red bra, and gently stepped out of my shoes.

"Wha...What do you have to tell me?" He stuttered eagerly.

I stepped up close to him so that my lips were less than an inch from his ear. "I'm yours."

"What?" He said hoarsely, his eyes darkening.

"I know you heard me Derek," I whispered mischievously. "I'm allyours now." I let my slacks drop to the floor.

"You're mine." He repeated.

"Uh huh." I emphasized, and unclipped the back of my bra.

He pressed his body against mine and kissed me. He quickly shrugged out of his clothes and pulled off what was left of mine. It felt...different, like we had crossed a threshold or something. He pulled me backwards onto the bed with him, causing me to smile widely and lean into his embrace.

"I'm yours and no one else's. You're the only man that can do this to me…I want..to belong to you..I want to be yours. Show me I belong to you, Derek." My voice was deep whisper.

"You are mine. I am the only man who can give this to you…" He said with confidence, trailing his lips down to my chest with a moan.

"Ohhh...god…" I responded by arching my back against him. "I need you inside me…" His fingers hooked around the sides of my matching red panties and slid them down my legs. "Please.." My voice was trembling.

"Okay." His answer came out as a slow moan, and I grinned when I felt him slip out of his boxers.

"Make love to me, Derek." I asked purely, feeling nothing but love and desire. "Because I'm yours." He finally complied and thrust deep inside me, only adding fuel to the fire.

"Oh..god baby...you are so tight and..I missed this. I missed you the most...but I also...missed the sex."

"Me too….oh god...You are great...so amazing…" I felt the tension growing between us as my

walls clenched around him, causing a growl to rise from his chest. His lips were still on my breasts, causing me to tip my head back in pleasure. "Oh...Derek...I'm going to...I'm about to.."

"Me too…" His voice was breathless between kisses. "Oh god..oh...fuck this is...ohh"

I felt myself reach release and let out a satisfied grown, matched with Derek's own voice.

"Oh...That was…."

"The best sex we've ever had…"

"Uh huh. Wow."

"Wow."

"You are mine." His smirk was satisfied and confident.

"I am."

"Finally."


	24. Chapter 24

"The conference is tomorrow."

"Yes, it is."

"Derek, do you realize...we are about to spend that entire trip with Addison breathing down our throats? I didn't even think about that."

"It's fine. You don't even have to talk to her. And she won't be breathing down our throats. You're going to have to work with her eventually…"

"Seriously?"

"I'm being dead serious. You and I are going to make the best of this trip. It's going to be perfect. You said that you and I are sharing a room, and the conferences don't last all day, so we can spend some time together away from everything."

"Okay…how do you always manage to keep me so freaking calm?"

"Hmm...well it's the hair, but mostly the face."

"Ha ha. Wait...I'm freaking out again."

"About what this time?" He laughed.

"How was everyone finding out about us so easy after all that stress? I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hell, maybe a whole shoe store…"

"Meredith, there is no other shoe. They've known about us for a while and I don't think they are going to make a big deal out of it."

"Okay. I am just going to let it go. Whatever happens, happens."

"Woah. I think I just witnessed a miracle."

"I know. It's a big step. Derek, do you think things are going to be awkward between Addison and I? I mean...frankly, I feel uncomfortable getting in the middle of your and Addison's business."

"There is no 'me and Addison's business.' That was done after she and Sloan."

"How are things okay between you and Sloan after what happened?"

"Because. He is my best friend. I know Addison, and I know Sloan. Even as the way he is, he would never initiate an affair with his best friend's wife. They both had equal part in what happened, and agreeing to it in a moment of weak judgment is different. He's like a brother to me...he and I have gotten past it. But Addison...that's different. She and I were barely adults when we got married. We barely knew each other. And after it happened, she wouldn't let me go. She begged me to take her back, but then when I left for Seattle, she cut all ties. But Mark kept trying. He never quit."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." I stated honestly. "I remember all the pain that my mother caused when she cheated on Thatcher. It was hell...it was the end of my childhood. It was like she cheated because...she didn't see her life at home as 'real'. Her real life was this hospital, and then at Sinai. She didn't really think that she had a child. I was a mistake, and she thought I would go away if she put me out of her mind. It took me years to understand that she could put me out of her mind so easily because she didn't even think I was real."

"Jesus, Meredith…I don't even know what to say to that.." I don't think he expected me to open up like I had. I didn't either.

"You don't have to say anything. It doesn't upset me anymore."

"Well this was quite the therapy session for seven in the morning. I'm glad you can talk to me now, seriously."

"I'm thankful for that...I really am. What I said today surprised me, though. Oh no...your talking about everything is rubbing off on me…" I laughed and took a sip of my coffee.

"All jokes aside, I'm supposed to be at your house to pick you up at 5:15, right?"

"Yes. Derek Shepherd, do not be late. That would be….not good. Not good at all."

"Yes ma'am." He said, smirking. "I've got to go prep for a surgery, so I'll see you at lunch."

"If I have a lunch. I'm back-to-back….for the next 7 hours."

"Oof...see you tonight then…" He kissed me gently before walking off for surgery, which was beginning to be a habit, and I habit I didn't particularly mind.

I checked my schedule, and had to look twice to check my sight. My third surgery today was supervising Addison, after all that talking about what happened….but, I can be professional. What am I saying? I am her boss for god's sake. This will go fine.

I tied my scrub cap behind my head while I walked to the scrub room. "Dr. Shepherd," I tried my best at a professional smile.

"Oh, hello there Dr. Grey. Are you scrubbing in on my tumor resection today?" He replied. Wow. That was some pretty good professionalism right there.

"I will. I'm going to be your supervisor today. Can you fill me in on the patient?"

"I can. Patricia Williams, 47 years old, has a malignant tumor occupying the proximal half of the frontal lobe, which needs to be removed. Why am I being supervised?"

"Oh, it's a formality. A bunch of the surgeons are today, by me. Even your uh...Addison."

"By you?" He looked worried.

"It'll go fine. I'll tell you later."

"Okay," we walked into the sterile field to be gowned and gloved.

"Okay Dr. Shepherd, I am required to observe silently. You won't even know I'm here." I said.

"Sounds great. Doctor Andrews, you can begin the anesthetics. It's a beautiful day to save lives, people!" I smiled, knowing those were the words he said before even picking up the scalpel since his first surgery.

"Making a circumferential incision along the scalp line." He says. "Forceps please."

I sat back and watched carefully, noting that today would be the eleventh surgery that I had watched him perform. It seemed like so long ago that Derek and I had seen each other for the first time at this hospital, but it had only been a little less than six months.

"Okay, Dr. Wilson, hold these retractors here. I'm going to begin to inspect the tumor site."

I stepped closer so I could see the tumor, noticing that the lining looked stretched and thin like it could rupture at any moment.

"I'm going to place two Kelly clamps here, can you tell me why?"

"To reduce blood flow to the tumor so it will shrink instead of letting it rupture when you start the resection."

"Exactly. Great."

I couldn't help but smirk knowing that we had the same exact thought at the same time. I heard a short snip before seeing the majority of the tumor placed in the medical waste bin.

"Wow, there's barely any left…" Wilson replied.

"Well, that is the goal. Okay, so now I perform the full excision." He explained again before making a couple more precise cuts.

"Okay Wilson, this is a slow and steady process. Watch me for about half and hour, you are going to respect the area protruding into T-4."

After about thirty minutes, he spoke again. "Okay, you're going to make 3 cuts in a triangular path between these three points." He handed her the scalpel and grasping forceps. Suddenly, the monitor began to beep, and a panicked expression plagued Wilson's face. "Oh...what…"

"You're putting too much pressure on the tumor. That puts the patient in distress Wilson. You know that…" his voice was calm, and he gently guided the tools with her movements. "This is just about the right amount of pressure. Hold the tool further away from the base."

"Okay…" I could hear the nervousness in her voice, and apparently so could Derek. "You'll get a feel for it. It just takes practice. You're only a second year."

Another forty five minutes, and he took over control of the surgery to finish the excision. His movements were seamless and graceful. The young resident watched in awe.

"The entire tumor has been removed, now we close up." He finished, "Wilson, use staples, 2 mm apart, replace the betadine pad, and rap with padded gauze and a loose skull cap. Also, Dr. Edwards, you will monitor the patient for 72 hours post op, and keep her on clonazepam for seizure prevention. Page me if anything changes. Great job everyone." He scribed a few notes on the the patient's chart.

He looked over at me for the first time throughout the surgery, and smiled. Suddenly my mind drifted back, and I could picture myself standing over a similar table in a similar OR, with similar words flowing routinely out of my mouth…

-1 year ago-

"Okay, Drs. Kelly and Brandon, stay and finish closing up- 2mm bites with the stapler, sterilization pad and then loose gauze wraps. Doctor Ricks, you will come with me to fill the patient's family on how the procedure went. Dr. Kelly, take Mr. Roberts to the ICU when you're finished.

"Thank you Dr. Grey."

I nodded dismissively and untied my scrub cap, just as the scrub room door busted open.

"Mother." I regarded plainly.

"Meredith, what the hell have you done?"

A/N: So, as you could probably tell, I'm doing a flashback to when Mer worked at Sinai for her mother, and in the next chapter, she will meet Derek. After that will be the conference, and then the plot will continue from there. :)


	25. Chapter 25

"Meredith, what the hell have you done?" My mother burst through the doors of the scrub room.

I was going to remain calm. "Well, I can't answer your question until you tell me the exact action to which you are referring, Mother…"

"Oh don't mother me. You….you quit! There's a damn letter of resignation on my desk!" She

was shouting now, and apparently wasn't affected by the multiple pairs of eyes watching our every move.

"Well typically a letter of resignation means I don't want to work here any more, mom." She was silent "There's a two week notice…"

"A two week notice!? To replace a surgeon that I've spent years preparing, teaching,

guiding...you want me to replace in fourteen days?!" Her scrub cap was balled up in her fist, and her face was getting redder by the second.

"And that same surgeon is choosing to learn in another environment." I countered. "That doesn't mean I won't fly down here for some of our long term patients, or that I won't be learning in Seattle. It just means I won't be learning here."

"I won't sign. I will not accept this, Meredith! I have put up with you for far too long to make you who you are today, to just let you leave! I've given up everything for you! I...I gave up Richard for you!"

"You've given up nothing for me, you...you lost Richard. Everything you have lost is because of you." I snapped. "You have to sign. And you can't have expected for me to be okay having my mother for a boss for my entire life! I need to have my own life, my own career. I can't be Ellis Grey's daughter forever. I don't want to be eclipsed by you anymore. I want to build my own reputation."

"You're being ridiculous." She was no longer infuriated, but worse. Indifferent; not caring. Her face displayed no emotion at all. Blank. "Meredith, you can't run from my legacy. You will always be Ellis Grey's daughter. My shadow will always be there. You need to wake up! Stop half-assing everything you do, Meredith. If you go to Seattle, you'll get off track, marry some weak ass man, and have a couple of ugly kids. You won't be a surgeon anymore. It's what I did, and I hate myself for it every day."

If I could see my own face, I'm sure I would see absolute horror. Anger. Definitely anger.

But...mostly horror.

"How could you say that?!" I shouted, feeling my throat tighten to the point that I was almost unable to speak. "How could you!" She left the room without a word, pulling the door shut with an earth-shattering bang.

I shifted my weight to balance against the scrub sink, and began to scrape at my skin with a fresh scrub pad, not yet ready to leave the room. I felt my eyes sting with moisture, but blinked it away. Weak was the last thing that I could be right now.

Damnit. How could she say that? How does she still feel like she's in control of my fucking life?!

I dried my hands and shoved open the door, turning the corner to my office. When I opened the door, I saw the lights were still off, but a single sheet of paper sat ominously on my desk.

I walked forward cautiously, the paper's ink scribbles slowly coming into view.

Dr. Meredith Grey.

Termination.

I blinked. Once. Twice, and read it again.

As of today, June 23, 2004, Mt. Sinai General Hospital is hereby terminating the employment of Doctor Meredith Grey, effective immediately. Your final check will be issued in by Friday and mailed to 613 Harper lane in 3-5 business days.

613 Harper lane. That was my mother's house in Seattle. I guess that would be where I'm going to live. Again, still controlling my fucking life.

But...Termination? She fired me. And it was effective immediately. That means...I can leave.

Like, now.

I smiled. I can leave now.

My eyes rested on the empty box at the door, which had just delivered some paper and pens to my office. Without hesitation, I emptied the small amount of personal belongings from my office into the box, and shut the door behind me on my way out.

I expected to feel some sense of hesitation, not sadness, but I expected to felt , I felt free.

—

-2 days later-

The last two days had been a tornado. I had moved out of my apartment in New York, flown across the country to Seattle, and had finally finished unpacking 10 boxes of my belongings into my mother's house. And this was the last place I want to live, but this is my only option now.

Richard had been ecstatic when I called to let him know that I would accept the position he offered. I couldn't believe that I would start as Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace hospital tomorrow. I was expecting to wait a good two weeks, one at least, but he was prepared to retire as early as tomorrow.

And throughout all of the insanity, not one word from my mother. But I wasn't shocked. It would be just like her to wait a good 6 months, maybe a year before I would hear from her.

I pulled out the last stack of clothes from the box on the bed. My mother's bed. It was all I had until my own bed arrived tomorrow night from the moving company.

I reached into the pile and pulled out my favorite black dress to drape it over a hanger, but I stopped. I will go out tonight. That will be the perfect way to get used to my new town. And, I will wear my favorite black dress. Work will start tomorrow morning, but not before I have some fun tonight.

-1 hour, 2 shots of tequila later-

"So you're new in town, right? And let me guess, you need a night of "fun" after a messy breakup with your boyfriend. Am I right?" The flannel clad bartender asked while pouring my 3rd shot of tequila.

"No, I need a night of fun after a messy breakup with my mother." I replied bluntly.

A confused look spread across his face, but he shook his head. "You're gonna be sorry in the morning."

"I'm always sorry in the morning." I smirked. "But, tomorrow's my first day of work. So keep 'em coming."

"Hey, How you doing, Joe?" I heard a voice behind me ask. I turned slightly to notice a tall, very handsome stranger take the seat next to me.

"Double scotch, single malt please." He peered over at me curiously, a smirk appearing on his face.

"This place is pretty great right?" He asked, taking a small sip of his drink.

"Yeah, so far." I replied. "But I wouldn't know. First time here…"

"Oh. Well Seattle's pretty great. I've lived here for about 6 months, but from what I've seen, it's been good so far." He paused, but I didn't look over. "You're ignoring me.." he stated, smirking again. God...that smile.

"Uh...trying to…" I replied, caught off guard by his bluntness.

"Oh...you shouldn't ignore me. He replied, feigning a hurt expression.

"Oh, and why not?" I asked, my eyebrows raising slightly.

"Because...I'm someone you need to get to know to love." His answer was plain and simple. I smiled.

"So, if I know you, I'll love you?"

"Oh yes." He smiled again, and I couldn't help but take a minute to study his expression.

"You really like yourself, huh?"

"Oh, just hiding my pain." This time I laughed, listening as the sounds mesh together.

"So, what's your story?" He asked after a few seconds.

"What? I don't have a story. I'm just...a girl in a bar."

"Well I'm just a guy in a bar." He replied smugly. We both took a sip of our drinks and sat in a comfortable silence for another minute or so. I chastised myself for being so caught up in the way his eyes would sparkle when he smiled.

"Yes." I replied. "We're just a couple of people in a bar."

"So, does this girl in a bar have perhaps, a name?" He inquires jokingly, studying my own expression.

"I'm Meredith."

"Derek."

"Derek. That sounds like the name of a guy who has a story…" I joked.

"I asked you first…" he smiled again.

"Well, I broke up with my mom yesterday." I finished another shot. "And now I'm here."

"Well that sounds like a story to me. I moved down here six months ago, and Joe here was the first person I met." He motioned to the bartender a few feet away. "And now, I'm here." He finished, his sentence mirroring my own. "So, How does one go about breaking up with their mom?" He asked curiously. "I'm on the edge of my seat."

"Well it's pretty easy to do when your mother's the spawn of satan...and your boss. Ex-boss I guess."

"Your mother, and your boss. That's pretty rough."

"Oh, you think so? I agree."

"Well, I'm starting work in the morning too, so you aren't the only one drowning your stress in alcohol tonight."

I smiled and finished off my glass of tequila. "So...your girlfriend?" I asked curiously.

"Nope. Don't have one."

"You?! The guy with that hair and...the god-complex? How are you still single?"

He shook his head, the dreamy smile making its appearance once again. "What about you? Someone that effortlessly sexy has to have be taken…"

"Ha.. Flattery. But no. Me neither. I'm too...dark and twisty."

"I don't know about dark, but I am willing to bet you're pretty twisty." He joked, a flirty glint floating in the pure pools of his eyes.

"Well, Excuse me...would you happen to be insinuating something...sexual, Derek?"

"What? Me? Why would you assume something like that?" He feigned shock.

"Just...a feeling." I replied smugly. "So, are you?

"That definitely depends. Let's just say I am. How would you feel?"

"Hmm…" I hesitated. "Very warm. No...hot." I giggled, feeling the effects of the tequila. "In very dark and twisty places…" I noticed for the first time how close the two of our bodies were to touching. Succumbing to each other. Succumbing to ourselves.

"Oh...really?" His smile showed interest. "Well I think we should act on that if you agree."

"Joe! Hey Joe! Over here. Can you call us an uuuuuber? Uber. What a funny word."

"That is a funny word…." Derek laughed drunkenly and leaned in closer. Our lips collided. It was

a sweet taste then sour. Scotch meets tequila. His tongue traced my lower lip and I smiled into the kiss.

"Wow." Derek pulled away for a few seconds, and I was a victim of his perfect smile. For a few short seconds, I couldn't move. I was caught, trapped in the look. His look. One eyebrow raised, a subtle smirk, and eyes glowing. That look.

"Wooowww." I replied, leaning in again, and swallowing a giggle when a felt a masculine hand rest against the small of my back.

"Ahem." Another masculine voice cleared their throat beside us.

"Jooooe? Why are you watching me make out?"

"Uhh, because the Uber is here." He shook his head, eyebrows sky- high.

I entwined my fingers with his and we shared a look again. That look. It was different than other guys. It didn't feel forced, rushed, uncomfortable. It felt uniquely...us.

"M'lady…" He replied once the car stopped in front of...my...house.

"So, you're the guy in the cab...and now…" I pulled him through the doorway. "And now, you're the guy in the house. I walked backwards when he smiled again, and leaned back when my legs hit the couch. "And guess who you are now?" I giggled.

"Well, I'd have to go with...the guy on the couch." His lips were on mine, intoxicating again. "And now the guy on top of you...on your lips…"

"I want you to be the guy in my pants." My voice was low and raspy. I felt his pants rise against my stomach and smiled. "And I think you are going to be that guy very soon. But who am I to say anything? I'm just the girl in the bar…"


	26. Chapter 26

¨How do you have time for lunch?" Christina Yang, my Cardio Chief asked, sitting down beside me at the table. She's one of the few doctors in this hospital who isn't completely terrified of me. She brought a hamburger and fries along with her.

"Dr. Montgomery's surgery is in 20 minutes...so I do, but just barely." I took a bite of my sandwich, tasting vaguely of vending machine. I frowned.

"Fun. Surgery with Shepherd's ex-wife."

"You know, I'm still your boss…" I stated skeptically, raising my eyebrows.

"Yep." All she did was drip her gaze to inspect the greasy burger.

"And that you and I talking about my boyfriend's ex-wife could be considered unprofessional…" I snapped open the lid to my soda.

"Mmm. But I also know that you are probably stressing out about the She-Shepherd's surgery and you need someone to talk to. It's lonely at the top, right?" She smirked and took a long sip of her milkshake. I frowned again. She was right.

"Fine, but if you breathe a word of this Yang…" I raised my eyebrows. "Wait, the She-Shepherd?"

"Yeah, she used to married to Shep-"

"I know." I said quickly, not waiting for her to finish her sentence.. "Just...I know."

"Woah, sorry. Well, that's why. But Shepherd lovesyou.' She paused, emphasizing on her cringe, apparently talking about love. "Even the brainless interns see that, and they don't know there aortic valves from their asses. Dr. Montgomery...Addison...you've got no competition there. She's terrified of you. She's been avoiding the patient floor since you came in yesterday." She shrugged.

"Wow, she...really?"

"Yeah. Apparently I'm the only one that's not afraid of you in this hospital..." She laughed.

I decided to go out on a limb. "Christina, why aren't you afraid of me?" My question was straight, and to the point, but she paused before answering.

"I'm not afraid of you because...I want to be you. You are...great. You are strong. You are our firstfemale chief. And, you're kicking ass. But...I'll stop showering you with flattery, because thatis just...not me. But yeah." She shrugged again, but her confidence was unwavering.

I smiled, finally comforted. "Thank you, Christina." She looked shocked for a second, and then twisted her lips into a smile, before opening them to speak.

"Thank you, Chief."

"Meredith." I said decisively. "When we aren't working, I'm just...Meredith." I was surprised by my own words. I am never this comfortable around my employees.

"Okay Meredith. Go put the Ex-She-Shepherd in her place." She replied confidently, with a quick nod of her head.

—-

Okay Dr. Montgomery...I'm going to observe the surgery from my seat. You won't even know I'm here." I took a seat in the sterile field, and held the mask to my face, awaiting her first move. But I noticed, her face was pale...maybe even green. But, I nodded for her to begin.

"Okay...uh...Murphy, I'm going to begin by making my first incision laterally two inches across just below lateral right to the umbilicus." She made the cut slowly, but accurately.

"Now we're going to insert the laparoscope and trocar via the incision." She handed the sterilized tools to Murphy and stepped back slightly to observe. Murphy slid them at an almost perfect angle. "Alright, now after an abdominal Co2 inflation, we can reposition the right ovary and suture it into place." Murphy nodded as the abdomen began to rise.

I nodded. She was doing good so far, and I have to admit, I was shocked at her progress having been so new to Seattle worked quietly on re-settling the torsion and beginning to sew the ovary to its attachment. When she stepped back to let Murphy finish, the monitors went haywire and blood tainted the young doctor's fresh blue scrubs. Murphy jumped back quickly.

Damnit!" Addison muttered quietly, pushing Murphy away from the patient to take over. "You clipped a artery near the fallopian tubes…Clamp!" She asked, reaching for the cold metal instrument and struggling to stop the heavy bleeder. "Get me lap pads. Murphy, get back over here and clamp, now!" She repeated firmly. Her tools and hands searched efficiently through the body cavity, and I saw the bleeding immediately stop from the screen above my head.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Montgomery...I.." Murphy stuttered urgently, shaking her head.

"It's...She will be fine. Go scrub out. Deflating the abdomen. We're all done." She announced. "Murphy, I'm going to finish the closing sutures. You need to update the husband. You did alright at first, but clipping an artery is a serious mistake. We can just hope at this point that there won't be any deficits." She stated. And then, it was Addison and I in the room, with only the anesthesiologist and two nurses remaining.

"You did a great job, Dr. Montgomery," I said truthfully, glancing in her direction. She tied the final square knot and nodded to the nurses.

"No, I didn't. I shouldn't have let Murphy even begin to correct the torsion...she's only a first year." She held her hands below the steady stream of water and rubbed vigorously.

"That's not true. She wouldn't learn if you didn't give her chances." I nodded to her and trashed my mask and booties. "See one, do one, teach one. That just means she needs to try another before she teaches. This hospital is for learning, and we can't learn without making a few mistakes here and there."

She nodded understandingly. "Thank you, Chief. And...do you have a minute to talk?" I began to pick up on her nervousness again.

"Oh, sure. That was actually my last surgery of the day. How about we go to my office? I offered, holding open the door in front of us. She quickly followed me into the familiar room.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well...you and Derek, are together, right?" She began, her usually steady hands shaking in her lap. Is everyone in this hospital really this petrified of me?

I sighed with uncertainty. "Yes…We are."

"Uh...did he tell you...did he…" her face was pale. "Did Derek say…"

"Did he tell me about Mark?" I asked, not wanting her to continue with the nervous stammering.

Her eyebrows shot up.

"How did you…?" She had obviously not expected my knowing response. I sunk into my office chair, and spun it around to face her again.

"He told me when you accepted the job here. That was why he was...unsure of what it would be like with you two working together." I said skeptically.

"He...I just...I don't want you to hate me for what I did to him. Because he still does. And I don't know if I can handle you, my mentor, and more importantly, my bosshating me for it too. I feel horrible for it every day, and I don't-"

"Addison, stop...I don't hate you. I hate what you did, but I do not hate you. I have respect for you, professionally, and I don't even know you personally. Believe me, I want to kill you for hurting Derek. I love him. And youhurt him. But, I've only heard Derek's side of the story, so I'm not here to pass any judgment. I didn't know either of you then. I'm sure you were different people." I reasoned.

"Thank you. Meredith. For the job, for being kind, for not hating me.."

"I have to ask you a question, once that's cleared up, we don't ever have to bring this again. Do you still love him?" I felt a bit uncomfortable being so blunt, but I had to get it out in the open. I had to know for sure.

"No." She said before even a second passed, shaking her head vigorously.

"Addison, are you sure ?" I persisted. "I know I was the one offering you the job, and I wasn't considering my relationship with Derek. I was considering what was best for the hospital. But I love Derek, and we're in a committed relationship. And I should have put himfirst, so I need to make sure that you'll be able to work with him. I need to put him first now."

"I'm sure. There will never be anything between Derek and I again. I care about him, but only as a friend and co-worker. We were young, stupid, and we never should have gotten married in the first place. And as far as Derek is concerned, if you'll excuse my unprofessionalism..." She smiled. "That man is head over heels in love with you. And I am not, nor will I ever be a threat."

I nodded and smiled, happy to no longer have the thought of this confrontation hanging over my head."I have another surgery in a few minutes, but it's only a tubal ligation. I'll see you bright and early in the morning…" She explained, glancing at her watch.

"You know, you're making it very hard for me to hate you.." I said jokingly, receiving a laugh in response. "I was dreading this talk...I mean like really dreading it.." I admitted. "I mean, you used to be Derek's wife, and I'm the new girlfriend." I said meekly. For the first time feeling inferior.

" Youwere dreading it? I am coming into my boss's office to have an extremely unprofessional chat about her boyfriend who...just so happens to be my ex-husband. Iwas dreading it." She laughed genuinely, and I couldn't help but join in the laughter at the thought of how strange this all really is.

"Thank you Addison, for making this so...easy." I opened up honestly, and stood up from my

chair. She smiled and walked out to attend to her surgery. After adding some paperwork and things I would need for the conference to my briefcase, I walked out to the parking lot, acknowledging the empty spot where Derek's car had sat. He had already gone home to prepare for a potentially amazing weekend.

That had gone well. It was really hard to hate her. In fact...I don't think I can.


	27. Chapter 27

"Ugh! I don't know how all of this crap is going to fit in here, Derek!"

I balanced the phone between my shoulder and my head, jamming my weight again the top of the suitcase that refused to close.

"Well, you either need a smaller amount of things in this suitcase, or you're going to need to get a larger suitcase, Mer." He said smartly.

"Well, thank you, Dr. Shepherd! I hadn't even thought of that!" I snapped.

"Whoa. Touchy, are we?"

I grumbled to myself and sat on the top of the suitcase in my final attempt to shut it.

"Do you need your big strong boyfriend to come help you pack, baby?" His voice was mocking, but his offer was tempting. I shook my head, even though I knew he couldn't see.

"No. I told you! We can't be late! If you come over with your...hair...and your...big strong manliness, then we will end up having sex. And then that will lead to more sex...which will lead to us being late in the morning!"

"Mer, do you really think you don't have enough self control to stop?" He chucked.

"It's not me I'm worried about..." I stopped trying to smush my suitcase together, and groaned as it fell off of my bed to dump on the floor. "Damnit!" I yelped.

"Okay, that's it. I'm coming over." He said finally.

"No Derek! Your going to be all….dreamy and shit…"

"How about this, I will try my best to be the least 'dreamy and shit' as I can. And I'm not bringing any condoms...so we can't have sex then. Happy?"

"Fine. Hurry. I love you. Drive fast..love you!" I yelled into the phone, tossing it back on the bed.

I scooped my crap out of the worthless suitcase and piled it back on the bed, and then limped into the bathroom to gather my things, when my phone rang once more. Damnit. My ankle was swollen again.

"Hello?" I hadn't read the caller ID.

"Chief? It's Callie."

"Oh, hi Torres. What can I do for you?" I asked politely.

"How is your ankle?... Is it still swollen?" Her tone was knowing. I frowned.

"No…" I lied.

"Meredith." She said sternly, catching me off guard.

"Okay, Fine. Maybe a little…" I reached down to massage it but quickly recoiled in pain. "Yes. It's swollen." I admitted finally.

"Then you're gonna need to be in the wheelchair for a good bit of the time at the conference. There's going to be a lot of back and forth, and if your gonna keep overusing it, it will get inflamed. And frankly, that will hurt like hell."

"Torres…" I warned angrily.

"Meredith, I'm telling you this as your doctor. Not your employee. You need to trust me. The wheelchair will mostly be for the airport and going back and forth between the conference and the hotel."

"And I don't have to use it during the conference?"

"No."

I frowned again. "Fine."

"Thank you. You'll be glad you have it. Your ankle will be pretty much healed by the time you get back. And I know you. Stop walking on it!" She said into the phone. I smiled. It didn't take long after I arrived for a few of my doctors to know me pretty well.

"Thank you Torres. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Off that ankle!"

"Goodbye Torres." I smiled.

"Hey." A familiar voice muttered behind me.

I jumped, and nearly fell over myself. "Shit Derek, you scared the crap out of me!" I traipsed up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck to lean in for a kiss.

"I don't think so.." he pushed me away gently. "I'm not going to have you blaming me for being late tomorrow."

"But Derek…" I whined, pulling him close to me.

"Uh Uh. Let's get your stuff." He glanced over my shoulder. "Holy shit Mer! We're gone for like three days…Are you sure you need all of this?"

"Yeah, and we're also gone for three nights…" I trailed off, gesturing to a pile of lingerie.

"Oh, well in that case, I think we can make an exception.." He smirked knowingly.

"Why do you think we booked a hotel room on an entirely different floor? You make me loud, Der."

He smiled. "Mer, you've gotta stop talking like that or else we're going to have a...problem." He gestured to eh...Little Derek, which was slowly making himself known.

"Oh...well we wouldn't want that…" I smiled and started to re-fold the clothes on my bed. He came up behind me and wrapped his hands tightly around me in a comforting embrace. I thanked god that it wasn't in a sexual way, because I don't think I could have stopped myself then.

"I'm happy we get to do this." He said quietly in my ear. "And I'm happy we didn't have to deal with a truckload of gossip when they found out.."

"Oh, Me too." I said agreeably. "My talk with Addison went well..." I said quietly, changing the subject.

Derek frowned, not looking up from the pile of clothes he was folding. He didn't say a word, but I could tell he was already apprehensive.

"She was worried that I hate her. I told her I don't at all. I...asked her if she still loves you…" I trailed off, having caught his attention. He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"She said no." I replied quickly. He nodded. "And she said…" I leaned against him. "That you are head over heels in love with me…" I stared up at his face holding his arms against me.

"Well then, she is a smart woman…"

"Derek Shepherd, you cheesy man." I smacked his arm away playfully. "It's hard to hate her, Derek. She's nice…" I pointed out.

"I'm glad you two are getting along, Mer. Things will be good between you two this weekend then." He said, nodding.

"Looks like I'm pretty much packed…" I waved towards the full suitcase on the bed. "It better zip, dammit!" I shouted. Derek smiled victoriously after finally zipping the suitcase. "Ha!" I shouted.

I sauntered over to him again. "I have such a big strong boyfriend…" I said mischievously, wrapping my arms around him and smiling. I stepped back to unzip my dress. "It's a shame that we can't put that talent to use..." showed my wicked smile again.

"Oh no. Not going to happen." He said skeptically, shaking his head at me. "Not tonight."

"What Der?" I whined. "I can't take a shower with my clothes on…" I let the dress fall to the floor and stepped out of it.

"Well then, I'm...uhhhh…." He trailed off. I smirked knowing my plan was working. He looked me down. "...gonna wait here. With my clothes on. In this room and not in the shower with you." He rambled. "No. Sex." He said sternly. Frankly that only made wanting him more exciting.

"Okay…" I tossed my panties behind me, knowing they would land beside him on the bed. "Whatever you want to do Derek…" I knew that was his last straw, but I pushed the bathroom door shut anyway.

I started the counting as soon as the steaming water hit the floor. 5, 4...I kicked off one shoe.

3...2 and then the other. 1...0… aaaaand- The door busted open.

"Did you need-" My smart remarks were cut off when he scooped me up and pressed me up against the thick glass wall of the shower.

"You." He only removed his lips from my neck for a second to reply.

"But...I told you Der...we...Oh! We don't have time…" I felt his cock rise and press against me. I stepped back.

"To hell we don't." He growled, and pulled me back again, under the stream of hot water.

"I...knew you'd come…" I said breathlessly, grinning against his lips.

"You sneaky little...Oh god Mer.." He moaned when I wrapped my legs around his muscular hips. For the first time he thrust himself into me, pinning me against the steamy wall again.

"Oh my...For the love of...Oh God...Der...I can't.." I moaned, desperately pulling myself tighter against him.

"Mer...you are so tight….I swear...you are…"

"Tighter than I was when we had sex this morning? I don't think so…" I giggled. "I don't...know Mer…" he groaned between thrusts, leaning down to kiss my neck. "Derek...I'm going to…Oh my...I needed this."

"Not as much as I did...God Mer, you are so sexy…" I couldn't take his voice was so deep and husky.

"You are huge...Derek I think you have gotten bigger than you were this morning…" I marveled at the feeling. "OH...God" I shouted finally enjoying the feeling of release, and Derek was not far behind.

"Mer...OH...Meredith I love you…" A shit eating grin covered his face.

"So um…" I said after a few minutes, still intertwined with Derek and in his arms.

"We still need to shower…" He said obviously.

"And you said no sex…" I muttered under my breath. "You always cave."

"What was that?" He asked curtly. I only smirked.

"Don't make me pin you up against this wall and make you tell me…" He growled through a smile.

Using sex as a weapon...not. Going. To work. Not exactly afraid here...

"Oh stop being sexy, you ass!" I shouted. He didn't move. "Get out!" He smirked one more time before I shoved him towards the door.


End file.
